5-" 
     
    
   
   
    
     6.1331. SUN FEB 3,]983 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     THE GOSPEL ACCORDING 
     
     TO THOMAS. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     in their ‘eyes, and pretty 
     
     damned unlikely seemeth it 
     
    
   
   
    
     ENGINEERS . 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Hllllllll 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Mes 
     
    
   
   
    
     mom's PARTY GAMES 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     And on the Sabbath, the 
     
     Lord came down from the 
     
     mountain. ‘And as he entered 
     
     the village of Nazareth, 
     
     there crowded around him ‘ 
     
     many beggars and those who 
     
     were affirm and sick. And :- 
     
     as he walked along, the Lord 
     
     felt one of then touch his 
     
     coat. And herdid feel the 
     
     strength go from him, and he 
     
     turned and did say: "Who 
     
     touched my coat?" And there 
     
    
   
   
    
     that touching saneone's coat 
     
     lS gOing to cure it even if 
     
     she was blind, even though 
     
     he be the Son of God, and 
     
     you knoweth, who's to say or 
     
     not the story's true? And 
     
     anyway, Simon and James 
     
     were pretty unreliable wit— 
     
     nesses as they'd been drink 
     
     ing away on the mountain 
     
     anyway, if we're to believe 
     
     that other spurious miracle 
     
     of which I spake earlier. In 
     
     other words the whole thing 
     
     is a web of doubts and uncer 
     
    
   
   
    
     Pin the Blame on the Donkey 
     
    
   
   
    
     One guest (usually an ., 
     
     artsie) is blindfolded—- 
     
     or has his glasses smash— 
     
     ed. He is then turned ar— 
     
     ound sixty times and put 
     
     out into the street with- 
     
     out any clothes on, while 
     
     the music is turned up as 
     
     loud as it can go. When 
     
     the police siren is heard, 
     
     the 'donkey' is invited 
     
     back in, given a smoke and 
     
     locked in the cupboard un— 
     
    
   
   
    
     stepped forward a girl, and 
     
     she did say "Lord it was I". 
     
     And the Lord spake unto her 
     
     and said: "Wherefore didst 
     
     thou so do?" And she said, 
     
     "Lord, I was blinded and I 
     
     had heard that thou wert a 
     
     healer who-can- bring; hearing 
     
     to the deaf andysight to the 
     
     blind." And lo, even as she 
     
     spoke, the {didjfiiall 
     
     from her eye“ and she could 
     
     see. And all that were there 
     
     with Simon and James who  
     
     were his diciples did re— 
     
     joice and praise the Lord. 
     
     All, that is, but one. For 
     
     he wasn't absolutely sure it 
     
     was Jesus for a start, bec— 
     
    
   
   
    
     tainties and I'd take it 
     
     with a pinch of salt. For 
     
     and I quote "salt that has 
     
    
   
   
    
     lost its savour." etc. etc. 
     
    
   
   
    
      Although I'm not even 
     
     sure he said that. I think 
     
     it was just a saying going 
     
     ‘arotmd'at that time. 'But, 
     
    
   
   
    
     thou knowest, you don't have 
     
    
   
   
    
     to take everything I saw 
     
     face value either if you 
     
     don't like it. I wouldn't. 
     
    
   
   
    
     But then I suppose I've got 
     
    
   
   
    
     a pretty duobting nature. 
     
    
   
   
    
     THE VDRSI‘ THINGS IN LIFE 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     ausealot of people round 1' 
     
     that time did look like unto 2 
     
     him.Andeven if itwas him, ' 
     
     the whole thing sounded a 3 
     
     touch shifty unto him. For ‘ 
     
     many did crowd around him, 4 
     
     in other words, many did ' 
     
     touch his coat, so how 
     
    

    
     could, he have felt this one 5 
     
     touch. Eh? Anyway, even if ‘ 
     
     that he did, for this guy, 6 
     
     let's say that he was Jesus, 7: 
     
    
   
   
    
     was pretty exceptional, can 
     
     we really take the girl's 
     
     word for Gospel truth, thou 
     
     Immest?‘I mean, who's to 
     
     saith whether she was really 
     
     blind: perhaps she's just 
     
     got some dust in her eye. 
     
     For about the land of Naz— 
     
     areth it was drytand many  ,, 
     
    
   
   
    
     did thirst and hunger there.” 
     
    
   
   
    
     And what is a note? It 
     
     sounds like dust to me. And 
     
     even if it isn't dust: it'S 
     
     certainly nOt blindness: 
     
     blind people are blind: they 
     
     don't walk around with motes 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     AREFREE. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Being adopted by a commune 
     
     of lesbian mothers. 
     
    

    
     A performance of Shakespeare 
     
     at an all girl's school. 
     
     Birthday presents from 
     
     religious aunts. 
     
    

    
     The spit your mother puts 
     
     on her hanky to wipe your 
     
     face with. 
     
    

    
     The hairs chefs bake into ~ 
     
     moussaka 
     
    

    
     Non-specific arthritis. 
     
    

    
     One of those handshakes 
     
     people give you where their 
     
     hand just lies wetly next to 
     
     yours like a cod-fillet with 
     
     sweating sickness. 
     
    
   
   
    
      '1“) GREAT LIES OF TODAY: 
     
    
   
   
    
     1. "Saying no is the best 
     
    
   
   
    
     2. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     form of contraception. " 
     
    
   
   
    
     Proof: "Do you nu'nd if I 
     
     remove your pants 
     
     and blouse?" 
     
    

    
     "No. II 
     
    
   
   
    
     "I do." (Elizabeth Taylor) 
     
    
   
   
    
     der the sink, while the ‘ 
     
     other players leave quietly 
     
     by the fire—escape. 
     
    
   
   
    
     HORN‘S QUOTE OF THE WEEK. 
     
    
   
   
    
     y  
     
    
   
   
    
     "She loves me but I don't 1." 
     
     love her." I  ' 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     /.1"°"6W% 
     
    
   
   
    
     1; 
     
    
   
   
    
     Of the 
     
    
   
   
    
     xh 
     
    
   
   
    
     Field and Stream Club 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Fri$ys Conplflnentary 
     
     Chili and Chowder 
     
    
   
   
    
     Happy Ho 
     
     Dailv 5 ' 
     
    
   
   
    
     Music and Danctng 
     
     Nightly 8:30 till 
     
     late 
     
    
   
   
    
     Dinner Specials and 
     
     Sandwiches served 
     
     daily frcm ll — 2 
     
    
   
   
    
     ms 
     
     8 
     
    
   
   
    
     189 Kent Street 
     
     . Charlottetown 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     L