The Panther Prints e* Book Review: Planet Baywatch Rain Forest Books by Brendan Baber and Eric Spitznagel If you enjoy watching Baywatch on mute, then this book is for you. If you watch Baywatch (with the volume on) and think that this is the best show in the world, then I donot recommend even glanc- ing at the book. However, if you are someone who is a "closet watcher", completely knowing the plethora of stere- otypes in the show, then you will definitely identify with this book. The authors of this book include in their introduction the reasons for creating Planet Baywatch. They pointout that, "this is the show that is sup- posed to be nothing more than breasts, buttocks and slow- motion jiggling"; yet, even though most people will not admit to watching this pro- gram, the authors state that these people are lying: "The numbers and ratings reveal that a massive chunk of the world is watching Baywatch, and then lying through their teeth when asked about it"....Hello Closet Watchers! After the introduction, the book then goes on to re- veal why Baywatch is so great, why it is "the New World Or- der". There are several facts throughout this colourful pic- ture book. On one page there are list of Ten Truths Learned from watching Baywatch, for example: Americans spend 15% of their day running in slow motion on the beach; and, when swimming in Califor- nia, you are more likely to be attacked by jewel thieves or taken hostage by terrorists than drown. The book also lists 28 and a half reasons why Baywatch is the Greatest TV show in the history of human- ity. A couple of these reasons are: "When they try to be funny, it's even funnier be- cause they are not"; and "when Pamela Anderson Lee runs in slow motion, gravity's cruel and powerful control is fully understood". The book also includes "fun facts" about all of the stars, such as Pamela Anderson Lee's Royal connec- tion: "Peter Phillips, the grand- son of the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh, refused to take down his pin-ups of Pam in his dorm-room at Gordonstoun". Planet Baywatch is not a book that I would buy for my mother. I do not think she would appreciate the close- ups of the lifeguard's breasts, which talk! The book is funny in how is mocks the stereotypes of the show...beautiful, toned and tanned Americans running ona beach. But similar to the show, it is hard to admit that you looked at the book with- out a hint of embarrassment. Theatre Society Hits The Stage The UPEI Theatre Soci- ety hits the stage, November 21 through 23, with two stu- dent directed one-act plays. Our first productions of the year include Tom Stoppard's irreverent homage to Shake- speare "The Fifteen Minute Hamlet" (affectionately sub- titled "It'll Take As Long As It Has To" by the cast). This hilarious play offers its audi- ence an extremely abbreviated version of the Bard's most fa- mous work, delivered at break- neck speed, and provides a casket full of laughs along the way. The second production of the evening is "The Val- iant," by Holworthy Hall and Robert Middle mass. This twentieth century American play explores issues of crime, punishment, and redemption, as it tells the story of a con- demned man's last hours, as those around him frantically try to determine his identity. The evening, therefore, will offer a full range of material, and take its audience on arich, emotional journey. The UPEI Theatre So- ciety is a student organization committed to exploring, view- ing, and producing fine drama. Traditionally, the Society of- fersa series of student-directed one-act plays in the fall se- mester, anda full-length drama in the winter semester. Plans will soon be underway for the next production. Thetwo plays offered this semester, how- ever, are entirely student pro- duced, with directors, actors, producers, and stage-manag- ers drawn for the UPEI stu- dent population. Do not miss this chance to see PEI's next important theatrical personali- ties. You will be able to say you “knew them when....” "The Fifteen Minute Hamlet" and "The Valiant" run Thursday through Saturday, Nov. 21, 22, 23, at the Duffy Amphitheatre on the UPEI campus. Show times are 8:00 pm nightly, and tickets will be available at the door. Prices are $3.00 for students and sen- iors, and $5.00 for the general public. For more information, contact Professor Bruce Barton at 566-0743 or bbarton@upei.ca. It's 12:36 am, do you know where your mole) salaaren as its Entertainment November 19, 1996 ce Night at the \Gheatre By Theressa Cheetham On Halloween in a tiny theatre, a tiny cast of 9 commu- nity actors took to the stage to perform in front of an anxious audience. As the current opened all that were there soon realized that the evening was going to be full of fun and laughter. If you happened to be one of the lucky ones to see a performance of “Noises Off’, you know what I am talking about. If you did not get a chance to see the production you regretfully missed a delightful evening. The play was written by Michael Frayn, and is set in a London theatre where the cast and crew are trying to get ready for opening night with only a few hours to get in the dress rehearsal/technical rehearsal. The first act was a little slow to get laughs in, but it introduced the audience to the characters and their relationships with one another. The second act was full of humour and I almost split my sided opened I was laughing so hard!! The third and final act tied up all the lose ends and gave the audience something to chuckle about on the drive home. The play, which is no longer running, was put on by the community theatre group ACT and that they can! Allthe actors were well rehearsed and had the nack that very few of us have to pull off a good laugh. They seemed to work well together, and no noticeable problem were present. For not being “professionals” they all seemed to have the grace and charm of all those that are masters of the stage. ACT is an amateur association with many activities for those that are interested in aspect of theatrical work. Suck as aplay reading club, achanceto gotoa local theatre, and dinner, and they have many productions in the works. Those interested in more information can call 569- 5633. To reiterate, I thought the play was superb, and if you get the chance to see this group perform grab it and relax and enjoy! Speak the speech D pray pow, cae pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue; but if zo mont8 my Gordy, as many of pour players $0, D Gould as fief the tofon crier spoke my fines. Loot Ron, I remember!