The
      best
      of
      sex
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Ain't
      nothing
      like
      the
      real
      thing
     
    
   
   
    
     
      hat
      is
      your
      idea
      of
      the
     
     
      Wore
      possible
      sex?
      When
      I
     
    

    
     
      was
      18,
      I
      wouldn’t
      have
     
     
      had
      any
      idea
      what
      to
      say
      to
     
     
      that
      question.
     
    

    
     
      I
      used
      to
      dream
      about
     
     
      sex,
      but
      not
      the
      best
      possible
     
     
      sex.
      I
      didn’t
      discriminate.
      I
     
     
      dreamed
      about
      any
      sex,
      any-
     
     
      where,
      anytime
      with
      anybody.
     
     
      Sex
      seemed
      like
      a
      dream
      too
     
     
      good
      to
      be
      true.
      And
      I
      could
     
     
      hardly
      believe
      that
      someday
      I
     
     
      would
      have
      the
      privilege
      of
     
     
      participating
      in
      it.
      The
      con-
     
     
      cept
      of
      ‘‘best
      possible
      sex’’
     
     
      never
      entered
      my
      mind.
     
    

    
     
      Do
      you
      dream
      about
      sex
     
     
      the
      same
      way
      I
      do?
      Does
      it
     
     
      scare
      you?
      I
      think
      it
      should
     
     
      do
      both,
      because
      sex
      is
      one
      of
     
     
      the
      most
      incredible
      of
      all
     
     
      life’s
      gifts.
     
    

    
     
      Sex
      is
      really
      like
      a
     
     
      dream
      too
      good
      to
      be
      true.
     
    

    
     
      Unfortunately,:as
      the
     
     
      world
      has
      seen
      too
      many
      times
     
     
      to
      number,
      it
      can
      also
      be
      a
     
     
      nightmare.
      There’s
      heartbreak
     
     
      to
      be
      found
      in
      bed,
      as
      well
      as
     
     
      ecstasy.
      People
      don’t
      adver-
     
     
      tise
      the
      heartbreak.
      They
      go
     
     
      off
      alone
      to
      cry.
     
    

    
     
      Sex
      can
      be
      cheap,
      ugly
     
     
      and
      exploitive.
      But
      that’s
      not
     
     
      the
      most
      typical
      scenario.
     
     
      What’s
      more
      common,
      as
      I
      see
     
     
      it,
      is
      sex
      that
      is
      frustrating
     
     
      and
      ultimately
      unsatisfying-a
     
     
      beautiful
      rainbow
      you
      can
     
     
      never
      quite
      touch.
     
    

    
     
      Still,
      for
      some,
      sex
      can
     
     
      be
      a
      dream
      come
      true.
      To
     
     
      achieve
      that,
      you
      need
      to
     
     
      think
      about
      the
      answers
      to
      the
     
     
      original
      question:What
      is
      your
     
     
      idea
      of
      the
      best
      possible
      sex?
     
    

    
     
      A
      great-looking
      body,
     
     
      many
      say,
      makes
      for
      great
      sex.
     
     
      I
      don’t
      know
      that
      I
      would
      call
     
     
      looks
      a
      wrong
      answer,
      but
      its
     
     
      not.a
      right
      answer
      either.
      It
     
     
      is
      mainly
      irrelevant.
     
    

    
     
      Sex
      is
      not
      played
      with
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Tim
      Stafford
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      eyes.There
      is
      a
      sex-re-
     
     
      lated
      game
      known
      as
      ‘‘attrac-
     
     
      tion’’
      which
      is
      played
      with
     
     
      the
      eyes,
      but
      it
      is
      quite
     
     
      different
      from
      sex.
      Sex
      is
     
     
      played
      with
      the
      body.
     
    

    
     
      I
      realized
      this
      while
     
     
      still
      in
      high
      school.
      I
      went
     
     
      to
      an
      outdoor
      concert
      that
      a
     
     
      blind
      mandolin
      player
      gave.
     
     
      Between
      each
      set,
      a
      huge
      woman
     
     
      in
      a
      flowered
      Hawaiian
      dress
     
     
      smothered
      him
      rapturously
      in
     
     
      her
      arms.
      He
      obviously
      liked
     
     
      it.
      It
      didn’t
      matter
      that
      she
     
     
      was
      so
      fat
      that,
      according
      to
     
     
      our
      skewed
      standards
      of
     
     
      beauty,
      she
      was
      quite
      ugly.
      He
     
     
      was
      blind.
      He
      couldn’t
      see
     
     
      her;
      he
      could
      only
      feel
      her.
     
     
      To
      him,
      she
      felt
      great.
     
    

    
     
      I
      am
      not
      trying
      to
      say
     
     
      that
      the
      way
      your
      partner
     
     
      looks
      has
      nothing
      to
      do
      with
     
     
      how
      you
      enjoy
      sex.
      The
      game
     
     
      played
      with
      the
      eyes
      is
      often
     
     
      what
      gets
      you
      started
      at
      sex,
     
     
      and
      if
      you
      never
      get
      started,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      you
      can’t
      enjoy
      it.
      But
      once
     
     
      the
      lights
      are
      out,
      or
      the
     
     
      covers
      are
      over
      you,
      looks
     
    
   
   
    
     
      don’t
      count
      for
      a
      thing.
      The
     
     
      most
      gorgeous
      partner
      may
      be
     
     
      unromantic,
      cold,
      or
      mechani-
     
     
      cal.
      The
      very
      plainest
      partner
     
     
      May
      prove
      sensuous,
      tender,
      |
     
     
      hot.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      he
      Qualities
      of
      Great
      Se
     
     
      So
      what
      qualities
      make
      for
      the
     
     
      best
      possible
      sex?
      I
      would
     
     
      like
      to
      offer
      my
      suggestions.
     
     
      1)
      The
      best
      sex
      is
      with
      some-
     
     
      one
      who
      wants
      to
      have
      it
      with
     
     
      you
      as
      much
      as
      you
      want
      to
     
     
      have
      it
      with
      her
      or
      him.
     
    

    
     
      The
      partners
      are
      excited
     
     
      about
      each
      other.
      Obviously,
     
     
      this
      has
      something
      to
      do
      with
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ‘that
      quality
      called
      love.
      It
     
    
   
   
    
     
      may
      be
      the
      kind
      of
      love
      called
     
     
      infatuation,
      or
      it
      may
      be
      a~
     
    

    
     
      deeper
      kind,
      but
      you
      both
      are
     
     
      in
      it.
      You
      are
      hungry
      for
      each
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      special
      sex
      report
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
      other.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      2)The
      best
      sex
      is
      with
      com-
      |
     
     
      plete
      freedom-
      no
      self-con-
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
      sciousness.
      {
     
    

    
     
      You
      aren’t
      trying
      to
      make
     
     
      a
      good
      impression.
      You’re
      not
     
     
      worried
      about
      making
      a
      mis-
     
     
      take.
      You’re
      not
      thinking
     
     
      about
      how
      you
      look.
      You
      are
     
     
      completely
      accepted
      by
      your
     
     
      partner,
      and
      you
      accept
      your-
     
     
      self,
      so
      you
      feel
      wonderful
     
     
      freedom.
     
    

    
     
      This,
      too,
      has
      to
      do
      with
     
     
      love,
      but
      love
      of
      the
      deeper
     
     
      kind.
      ‘
     
    

    
     
      3)
      The
      best
      sex
      is
      when
      each
     
     
      of
      you
      wants
      to
      make
      the
      other
     
     
      feel
      great.
     
    

    
     
      This
      requires
      a
      bit
      of
     
     
      technical
      explanation.
      God,
      in
     
     
      his
      wisdom,
      has
      made
      people
     
     
      individually
      unique,
      and
      ne
     
     
      has
      made
      men
      and
      women
      differ-.
     
     
      ent.
      They
      respond
      to
      sex
      dif-
     
     
      ferently.
      There
      are
      many
      di-
     
     
      mensions
      to
      this
      difference.
     
     
      For
      example,
      one
      very
      simple
     
     
      difference
      is
      that
      men
      go
      fast
     
     
      and
      women
      go
      slow.
      Usually.
     
     
      Every
      person
      is
      unique.
     
    

    
     
      The
      practical
      implication
     
     
      is
      this:
      If
      one
      or
      both
      of
      you
     
     
      are
      only
      excited
      about
      how
     
     
      good
      sex
      can
      feel
      for
      you,
     
     
      neither
      one
      of
      you
      will
      expe-
     
     
      rience
      the
      best
      possible
      sex.
     
     
      The
      work
      of
      sex
      researchers
      of
     
     
      Masters
      and
      Johnson
      has
      borne
     
     
      this
      out.
     
    

    
     
      Again,
      love
      comes
      into
     
     
      this
      quest
      for
      the
      best
      possi-
     
     
      ble
      sex:
      It
      is
      a
      fairly
      mature
     
     
      and
      deep
      kind
      of
      love.
      To
     
     
      concentrate
      on
      making
      your
     
     
      partner
      feel
      great
      sounds
     
     
      easy;
      zbuts
      it;
      isnt
      Loess:
      GF
     
     
      loving
      patience
      may
      be
      re-
     
     
      quired.
     
    

    
     
      4)
      The
      best
      sex
      has
      time
      to
     
     
      get
      better
     
    

    
     
      This
      follows
      from
      point
     
     
      3.
      The
      best
      sex
      is
      a
      sensitive
     
     
      art,
      and
      the
      artist
      takes
      time
     
     
      to
      learn
      how
      best
      to
      please
     
     
      the
      one
      he
      loves.
      Anybody
      can
     
     
      make
      babies.
      Anybody
      can
      have
     
     
      a
      reasonably
      good
      time
      in
      bed.
     
     
      But
      we’re
      talking
      about
      the
     
     
      best
      sex
      and
      the
      best
      takes
     
     
      practice.
      Practice
      with
      that
     
     
      individual-not
      just
      with
      any-
     
     
      body.
      That
      is
      why-
      and
      this
      is
     
     
      a,
      well-kept
      secret-
      many
      cou-
     
     
      ples
      have
      a
      lousy
      time
      on
     
     
      their
      honeymoons.