HEADLINE By Reporter Lorem ipsum dolor “sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore. magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea com- modo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent lup- tatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent lup- _ tatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent lup- tatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, con- sectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nis] ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea com- modo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie conse- quat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent lup- tatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent lup- tatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, con- sectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. LOSE THE NEws ) By Natalie Pendergast Excuse me folks I have a confession. Next time I’ve got the news in my possession I’m going to take that paper and throw it in the dirt, And I’m going to make that paper hurt hurt hurt! I’m going to stomp stomp stomp on that dirty old news With big red shiney steel-spiked shoes. ‘Every time I watch News all I do is worry and stress. That Ill find some sign of cancer next time I undress, And if they just gave me the facts, I swear I’d get the gist But instead they make me crazy by giving them a twist! The news isn’t the truth that we are told told told! The news is a product that we are sold sold sold! The news hangs over us like a snarling vulture, But we can’t escape its clutches cause its part of our culture. You grow up with this stigma attached to the news: If you’re “informed” you’re a winner, if not—you lose! But there’s not always a chance to lose anymore, With News always rap-rapping on your front door. Once I tried to banish News from my life, I wanted to end all our hatred and strife. I turned off all the TVs, radios, and more, And set fire to all the papers at the store. And just when I was feeling like I’d built up some immunity, I found News lurking in the gossip of my community! “So what is your point?” wonders all you folks, Well I don’t mean to demote fun, laughter, and jokes, But you’ve got to read my point with all your attention, undivided, For it’s the point in which I’ve sweated and prided: The news is mean and bad and a big fat liar, Not nice and jolly like good ol’ Richard Pryor!