about
      the
      diseases
      this
      person
     
     
      could
      have?
      If
      he
      or
      she
     
     
      says,
      ‘‘oh
      we
      don’t
      need
      to
     
     
      use
      a
      condom,
      I'm
      safe’’,
      what
     
     
      makes
      you
      believe
      this
      person?
     
     
      After
      all,
      they
      are
      having
     
     
      casual
      sex
      with
      you,
      aren’t
     
     
      they?
      Who
      knows
      how
      many
     
     
      other
      people
      they
      have
      been
     
     
      with?
      These
      are
      obvious
      points
     
     
      I
      have
      been
      making,
      but
      what
     
     
      about
      the
      less
      obvious
      ones?
     
     
      Whenever
      I
      had
      casual
      sex,
      or
     
     
      sex
      with
      someone
      I
      knew
      I
     
     
      didn’t
      love,
      something
      just
     
     
      wasn’t
      right;
      not
      the
      sex
     
     
      itself,
      sometimes
      that
      was
     
     
      excellent,
      but
      the
      emotions
     
     
      that
      went
      along
      with
      it.
      I
     
     
      have
      never
      had
      sex
      with
      some-
     
     
      one
      I
      didn’t
      know,
      but
      that
     
     
      didn’t
      protect
      me
      from
      the
     
     
      empty
      and
      lonely
      feeling
      I
      was
     
     
      left
      with,
      which
      I’m
      sure
      my
     
     
      partner
      shared.
      This
      is
      one
     
     
      of
      the
      less
      obvious
      negative
     
     
      aspects
      of
      casual
      sex.
      A
      mo-
     
     
      ment
      of
      passion,
      sometimes
     
     
      drunken
      passion,
      turns
      into
      a
     
     
      few
      days
      of
      emptiness
      and
     
     
      wishing
      for
      love.
      I
      loved
     
     
      being
      single
      as
      long
      as
      I
     
     
      didn’t
      start
      to
      care
      for
      some-
     
     
      one,
      but
      when
      I
      did
      and
      we
      had
     
     
      sex
      too
      soon,
      it
      ruined
      every-
     
     
      thing.
      We
      lost
      all
      respect
     
     
      for
      each
      other
      right
      from
      the
     
     
      beginning.
      That
      is
      no
      way
      to
     
     
      start
      a
      relationship.
      After
     
     
      two
      years
      on
      the
      singles
      scene
     
     
      I
      fell
      in
      love;
      head
      over
     
     
      heels,
      in
      fact.
      I
      decided
     
     
      time
      would
      tell
      if
      this
      was
     
     
      right,
      and
      until
      we
      knew
      that
     
     
      it
      was
      right
      I
      refused
      to
      have
     
     
      sex
      with
      my
      partner.
      I
      had
      to
     
     
      feel
      the
      same
      kind
      of
      security
     
     
      with
      our
      relationship
      that
      I
     
     
      felt
      with
      myself.
      No,
      I
      am
      not
     
     
      going
      to
      tell
      you
      that
      it
     
     
      isn’t
      sex,
      that
      it’s
      ‘’‘’making
     
     
      love’’;
      that
      doesn’t
      even
     
     
      begin
      to
      describe
      the
      differ-
     
     
      ence.
      Sex
      is
      what
      you
      want
      it
     
     
      to
      be,
      it
      does
      not-have
      con-
     
     
      trol
      over
      you,
      you
      have
      con-
     
     
      trol
      over
      it.
      It’s
      a
      matter
     
     
      of
      feeling
      comfortable
      with
     
     
      the
      person;
      knowing
      that
      he
      or
     
     
      She
      will
      go
      and
      get
      an
      AIDS
     
     
      test;
      just
      to
      be
      safe.
      Its
     
     
      knowing
      that
      you
      both
      can
     
     
      laugh
      at
      the
      embarrassing
     
     
      things
      in
      sex.
      It’s
      knowing
     
     
      that
      you’ll
      be
      happy
      to
      roll
     
     
      Over
      in
      the
      morning
      and
      do
      it
     
    
   
   
    
     
      solely
      as
      a
      stress
      reliever,
     
     
      or
      a
      way
      to
      have
      some
      fun,
      we
     
     
      had
      sex
      to
      prove
      to
      each
      other
     
     
      how
      we
      felt.
      Each
      day
      that
     
     
      goes
      by
      I
      am
      thankful
      for
      this
     
     
      gift.
      How
      would
      we
      show
      our
     
     
      lovers
      how
      we
      feel
      about
      them
     
     
      if
      we
      didn’t
      have
      the
      act
      of
     
     
      sex?
      We
      all
      know
      that
      words
     
     
      never
      do
      the
      feelings
      justice,
     
     
      and
      besides,
      sex
      is
      a
      lot
      more
     
     
      fun
      than
      words.
      I’m
      not
      trying
     
     
      to
      tell
      you
      not
      to
      have
      sex
     
     
      unless
      you’re
      in
      love.
      I’m
     
     
      just
      saying
      that
      there
      is
      a
     
     
      difference.
      Some
      people
      never
     
     
      discover
      this
      difference,
      but
     
     
      if
      you
      do,
      don’t
      ever
      forget
     
     
      it
      because
      it
      is
      one
      of
      the
     
     
      best
      things
      we
      can
      ever
      expe-
     
     
      rience.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      all
      over
      again,
      not
      because
     
     
      your
      body
      tells
      you
      to,
      but
     
     
      because
      you
      want
      them
      to
      know
     
     
      how
      much
      you
      love
      them.
     
    

    
     
      In
      my
      experience
      sex
      with
     
     
      someone
      you
      love
      is
      incred-
     
     
      ible,
      not
      only
      because
      of
      the
     
     
      security
      that
      goes
      with
      it,
     
     
      but
      most
      importantly
      the
      over-
     
     
      whelming
      emotions
      that
      consume
     
     
      you
      during
      and
      afterwards.
      I
     
     
      knew
      I
      loved
      my
      partner
      before
     
     
      we
      had
      sex,
      but
      after
      our
     
     
      first
      time
      I
      knew
      I
      had
      fallen
     
     
      even
      more
      deeply
      in
      love.
     
    

    
     
      This
      was
      not
      because
      of
      the
     
     
      release
      of
      sexual
      frustration.
     
     
      This
      was
      because
      we
      shared
     
     
      something
      that
      was
      beautiful,
     
     
      and
      we
      respected
      what
      it
     
     
      meant.
      We
      did
      not
      use
      it
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      sounds
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sexual
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Ki
      Fi
      u
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Exile
      in
      Guyville
     
     
      Liz
      Phair
     
     
      (Matador)
     
     
      A
      new
      school
      of
      aggressive,
      sexual
      and
      frank
      female
      singers
     
     
      including
      PJ
      Harvey,
      Tori
      Amos
      and
      Juliana
      Hatfield
      has
      invaded
     
     
      the
      music
      scene,
      somewhat
      recalling
      new
      wave’s
      angry
      young
      men
     
     
      (Elvis
      Costello,
      Joe
      Jackson,
      Graham
      Parker).
      The
      latest,
      hot-
     
     
      test
      and,
      I
      think,
      best
      of
      the
      lot
      is
      Liz
      Phair,
      whose
      independ-
     
     
      ent
      debut
      double
      album
      has
      generated
      quite
      a
      stir
      and
      landed
      her
     
     
      a
      deal
      with
      Atlantic
      records.
     
    

    
     
      Exile
      in
      Guyville
      (3.5)
      has
      gained
      notoriety
      for
      its
      rev-
     
     
      elry
      in
      the
      stereotyped
      slut
      role:
      ‘‘I’1ll
      suck
      you
      ‘til
      your
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      dick
      is
      blue,’’
      ‘’I
      want
      to
      be
      your
      blow-job
      queen,’’
      and
      '’I
     
     
      want
      to
      fuck
      you
      like
      a
      dog’’
      all
      appear
      in
      one
      song.
      Despite
     
     
      this,
      there
      are
      moments
      that
      suggest
      an
      emptiness
      (’’I
      come
      when
     
     
      called
      /
      I
      come
      that’s
      all’’,
      as
      well
      as
      the
      haunting,
      spare
     
    
   
   
    
     
      tracks
      that
      occupy
      about
      half
      of
      the
      disc.)
      But
      take
      away
      a
      few
     
     
      tracks
      and
      this
      could
      play
      on
      the
      radio,
      and
      it’s
      not
      like
      she
     
     
      needs
      the
      porn
      for
      attention;
      her
      compositions
      are
      strikingly
     
     
      imaginative,
      though
      the
      spareness
      of
      the
      album
      is
      ultimately
     
     
      limiting.
      It’s
      the
      more
      beefed-up
      tracks
      that
      stand
      out:
      ‘’’Six
     
     
      Foot
      One,"
      “Never*Said;"
      “Fuck
      and.
      Run.”
      !
     
    

    
     
      Despite
      her
      radical
      sexuality,
      Liz
      Phair
      is
      a
      songwriting
     
     
      traditionalist
      in
      the
      spirit
      of
      Elvis
      Costello,
      and
      ultimately
     
     
      it
      is
      the
      music
      that
      makes
      groundbreakingly
      sexual
      work
      stand
     
     
      out.
      Here’s
      a
      skim
      through
      other
      albums
      that
      creaked
      open
      the
     
     
      bedroom
      door:
      :
     
    

    
     
      Let’s
      Get
      It
      On,
      Marvin
      Gaye
     
     
      Dirty
      Mind,
      Prince
     
    

    
     
      Dry,
      PJ
      Harvey
     
    

    
     
      janet.,
      Janet
      Jackson
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      special
      sex
      report
      |