Fuck:
      Darn.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      PARANOIA:
      I
      always
      feel
      like
      somebody’s
      watching
     
     
      me.
      “,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      OccaM’s
      RAZor:
      The
      simplest
      explanation
      is
      usu-
     
     
      ally
      the
      best.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      STURGEON’S
      LAw:
      95%
      of
      everything
      is
      shit.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      [b]
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I’M
      GONNA
      TAKE
      YOU
      ON,
      ONE
      BY
      ONE*
     
    

    
     
      It
      is
      true
      that
      some
      chicken-hearted
      half
      wit,
      with
     
     
      more
      of
      a
      dull-eyed
      passion
      than
      an
      actual
      position
     
     
      has
      been
      posting
      “Trash
      the
      Cadre”
      signs
      all
      over
     
     
      Main
      Building.
      And
      others.
      It
      is
      also
      true
      that
      some
     
     
      person,
      maybe
      the
      same
      one,
      maybe
      not,
      has
      been
     
     
      throwing
      out
      large
      amounts
      of
      this
      newspaper.
      Ha
     
     
      ha.
      Lots
      of
      laughs
      on
      that
      one.
      When
      something
      like
     
     
      this
      happens
      the
      first
      instinct
      is
      panic,
      then
      accept-
     
     
      ance,
      then
      an
      understanding
      that
      really
      this
      is
      a
      com-
     
     
      pliment.
      No
      one
      throws
      out
      The
      Guardian,
      and
     
     
      everybody
      hates
      The
      Guardian.
      It
      means
      we
      are
      pro-
     
     
      voking
      something
      beyond
      a
      small
      reaction.
      That
      per-
     
     
      son,
      though
      no
      doubt
      a
      savage
      dullard,
      may
      run
      the
     
     
      risk
      of
      getting
      caught
      putting
      up
      their
      signs,
      but
      for
     
     
      them
      it
      is
      no
      risk.
      For
      them
      it
      is
      IMPORTANT
      to
      put
     
     
      up
      those
      signs.
      It
      is
      a
      critical
      part
      of
      their
      sad,
      lonely,
     
     
      pathetic
      day.
      Who
      is
      it?
      Well,
      we
      have
      all
      kinds
      of
     
     
      admirers.
      We
      take
      all
      bets.
      For
      that
      person,
      or
      any
     
    

    
     
      _
      other
      so
      inclined,
      |
      recommend
      you
      go
      back
      to
      the
      a
     
     
      section
      of
      the
      Editorial
      and
      read
      up
      on
      your
      terms.
     
     
      Just
      so’s
      you’ll
      be
      informed.
      And
      for
      those
      who
      think
     
     
      this
      is
      a
      sign
      that
      we
      are
      doing
      something
      horribly
      _
     
     
      wrong,
      and
      that
      SOMETHING
      MUST
      BE
      DONE,
      let
     
     
      me
      say
      this....blah.
      Know
      what
      you
      are
      talking
      about,
     
     
      then
      start
      talking.
      Thank
      you.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      [e]
     
     
      For
      those
      of
      you
      who
      enjoy
      The
      Cadre—and
      even
     
     
      those
      who
      don’t
      like
      it,
      but
      recognize
      our
      right
      to
      dis-
     
     
      tribute
      a
      free
      independent
      publication—I
      would
      like
     
     
      to
      express
      my
      personal
      thanks.
      It
      is
      a
      wonderful
     
     
      group
      of
      people
      who
      work
      at
      this
      newspaper
     
     
      magazine
      and
      I
      am
      proud
      to
      call
      many
      of
      them
      my
     
     
      friends.
      And
      for
      those
      of
      you
      who
      do
      think
      the
      paper
     
     
      is
      good.
      Well,
      you
      seem
      to
      be
      a
      person
      of
      great
     
     
      insight.
      Thank
      you.
      And
      keep
      reading.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      *
      TITLE
      TAKEN
      FROM
      THE
      EYES
      FOR
      TELESCOPES
      SONG
     
     
      ~~~
      “OFF
      THE
      VINE”,
      WHICH
      IS
      NOT
      ON
      THEIR
      ALBUM.
      ~