NovemBer
      19,
      2004
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Liam
      McKenna
     
     
      Sports
      Editor
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      have
      recently
      been
      getting
      many
     
     
      questions
      asked
      to
      me
      about
      the
      current
     
     
      state
      of
      the
      game
      and
      have
      decided
      to
     
     
      compile
      a
      list
      of
      frequently
      asked
     
     
      questions
      in
      order
      to
      save
      myself
     
     
      valuable
      time
      for
      schoolwork
      and/or
     
     
      nothing.
      Hopefully
      all
      four
      ofmy
      avid
     
     
      readers
      will
      find
      this
      a
      valuable
      guide
      to
     
    
   
   
    
     
      my
      opinions
      concerning
      the
      greatest
     
     
      game
      on
      Earth.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Who
      is
      better,
      Martin
      Brodeur
      or
     
     
      Patrick
      Roy?
     
    

    
     
      A:
      This
      is
      one
      of
      the
      most
      debated
     
     
      questions
      in
      hockey
      today.
      Upon
      his
     
     
      retirement,
      Patrick
      Roy
      had
      been
      hailed
     
     
      by
      many
      as
      the
      greatest
      goaltender
      ever
     
     
      to
      play
      the
      game.
      He
      held
      the
      record
      for
     
     
      almost
      every
      goaltending
      statistic
     
     
      possible,
      including
      wins
      and
      playoff
     
     
      wins.
      He
      also
      sported
      an
      excellent,
     
     
      sleek,
      and
      greasy
      mullet
      for
      the
      better
     
     
      part
      of
      his
      career.On
      the
      other
      hand,
     
     
      Martin
      Brodeur
      is
      on
      his
      way
      to
     
     
      breaking
      many
      of
      Roy’’s
      records
      at
      an
     
     
      electrifying
      pace.
      That
      being
      said,
     
     
      however,
      Brodeur
      also
      played
      with
      the
     
     
      NHL
      team
      that
      practically
      invented
      the
     
     
      North
      American
      Trap,
      one
      of
      the
      worst
     
     
      things
      to
      ever
      happen
      to
      hockey,
      and
     
     
      boasted
      a
      defense
      which
      consisted
      of
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      CADRE
      @
      13
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FAQ
      from
      the
      Hockey
      Expert
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Scott
      Neidermayer,
      Scott
      Stevens,
      etc.
     
     
      Although
      Patty
      would
      go
      on
      to
      have
     
     
      better
      defenseman
      such
      as
      Bourque
     
     
      towards
      the
      end
      of
      his
      career,
      at
      the
     
     
      height
      of
      his
      heyday
      in
      Montreal
      he
     
     
      boasted
      one
      stellar
      defenseman—
      Eric
     
     
      Desjardins
      —
      who
      was
      assisted
      by
     
     
      other
      greats
      such
      as
      Patrice
      Brisebois
     
     
      and
      Kevin
      Haller
      (note:
      sarcasm).
     
     
      Brodeur
      also
      has
      short,
      curly
      hair,
      not
     
     
      nearly
      as
      awesome
      as
      Patrick
      Roy’’s
     
     
      greasy
      mullet.
      Roy
      is
      better
      overall.
      _
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Does
      having
      long
      hair
      make
      mea
     
     
      better
      player,
      then?
     
    

    
     
      A:
      No.
      Long
      hair
      does
      not
      make
      youa
     
     
      better
      player,
      however
      it
      has
      been
     
     
      shown
      to
      make
      players
      with
      notable
     
     
      skill,
      such
      as
      Jaromir
      Jagr,
      into
      much
     
     
      more
      effective
      players.
      Mike
      Ricci,
     
     
      Scott
      Neidermayer,
      and
      Patrick
      Roy
     
     
      (see
      above)
      have
      also
      used
      this
      tactic
      to
     
     
      their
      benefit.
      Darryl
      Sutter
      has
      actually
     
     
      been
      heard
      to
      attribute
      Calgary’’s
     
     
      unlikely
      success
      in
      last
      year’’s
      playoffs
     
     
      to
      Mike
      Commodore’’s
      rad
      locks.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      But
      Mark
      Recchi,
      who
      you
      say
      is
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      best
      player
      in
      the
      world,
      does
      not
      have
     
     
      rad
      locks.
     
    

    
     
      A:
      Mark
      Recchi
      is
      far
      too
      good
      for
      long
     
     
      hair.
      also
      donot
      have
      long
      hair.
      Suffice
     
     
      to
      say,
      if
      Mark
      and
      I
      did
      grow
      rad
      locks,
     
     
      our
      mad
      skill
      and
      coolness
      could
      no
     
     
      longer
      be
      contained.
      It
      might
      very
      well
     
     
      cause
      the
      end
      of
      the
      world.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      What
      is
      the
      solution
      to
      the
      lockout?
     
     
      A:
      Normally,
      I
      would
      say
      letting
     
     
      Bettman
      and
      Goodenow
      fight
      to
      the
     
     
      death.
      However,
      as
      this
      technique
      has
     
     
      already
      been
      employed
      and
      does
      not
     
     
      seem
      to
      be
      solving
      anything,
      I
      would
      say
     
     
      make
      the
      players
      listen
      to
      Jean
     
     
      Beliveau.
      Oh
      yeah,
      and
      someone
     
     
      should
      kill
      Chris
      Chelios.
      Isn’t
      he
      old
     
    
   
   
    
     
      enough
      to
      be
      dead
      yet
      anyway?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Whatever
      happened
      to
      Andre
      “Red
     
     
      Light”
      Racicot,
      the
      former
      Montreal
     
     
      goaltender?
      :
     
    

    
     
      A:
      Itis
      believed
      that
      old
      Red
      Light
      and
     
     
      his
      good
      friend
      and
      fellow
      bad
      goalie
     
     
      Jon
      Casey
      have
      started
      a
      bar
      in
     
     
      Manhattan.
      It
      apparently
      doesn’t
      do
     
     
      very
      well,
      because
      nobody
      pays
      cover
     
    
   
   
    
     
      3
     
     
      }
     
    
   
   
    
     
      watching...
      there’
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      Research
      shows
      that
      in
      the
      past
      six
      months,
      over
     
     
      ~~
      2,800
      young
      adults
      purchased
      tobacco
      products
      for
      minors.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Are
      YOU
      one
      of
      them?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      It
      is
      against
      the
      law
      to
      sell
      or
      provide
      tobacco
      products
      to
      minors.
      Don't
      be
      a
      statistic.
     
     
      Let's
      keep
      tobacco
      out
      of
      the
      hands
      of
      children.
      It’s
      time
      for
      you
      to
      make
      the
      save!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      and
      it’’s
      not
      like
      these
      two
      could
      stop
     
     
      anything
      from
      going
      in.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Are
      any
      of
      these
      questions
     
     
      frequently
      asked?
     
     
      A:
      No.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      You
      failed
      to
      mention
      the
      UPEI
     
     
      team
      as
      an
      alternative
      to
      the
      lockout
      in
     
     
      your
      last
      article
      concerning
      hockey.
     
     
      Why
      do
      you
      hate
      everyone
      so
      much
     
     
      here
      at
      UPEI?
      Shouldn’t
      you
      resign?
     
     
      Do
      youeven
      play
      hockey?
     
    

    
     
      A:
      The
      UPEI
      team
      provides
      excellent
     
     
      hockey
      and
      is
      on
      par
      with
      the
      Rocket
      as
     
     
      the
      best
      lockout
      alternative.
      I,
      for
      one,
     
     
      have
      not
      played
      hockey
      professionally
     
     
      since
      I
      was
      six
      and
      in
      squirts,
      and
      was
     
     
      failed
      to
      be
      signed
      as
      a
      free
      agent.
      Like
     
     
      other
      players
      who
      suck
      at
      hockey
     
     
      (read:
      Kelly
      Hrudey),
      I
      decided
      to
      go
     
     
      into
      journalism.
      I’m
      having
      too
      much
      fun
     
     
      to
      resign.I
      love
      UPEI
      and
      everything
     
     
      about
      it
      --
      just
      ask
      the
      field
      hockey
     
     
      team.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
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