Fesruary
      1,
      2005
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      CADRE
      @
      19
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Ten
      most
      stupid
      questions
      people
      usually
      ask
      in
     
     
      obvious
      situations
      and
      some
      matching
      replies
     
    
   
   
    
     
      1.
      At
      the
      movies:
      When
      you
      meet
     
     
      acquaintances/friends...
     
    

    
     
      Q:
      Hey,
      what
      are
      you
      doing
      here?
     
    

    
     
      A:
      Well,
      it’s
      so
      hot.
      There
      were
      no
      cool
     
     
      cabs
      so
      I
      thought
      I’d
      watch
      some
     
     
      advertisements
      in
      the
      cool
      comfort
      of
     
     
      the
      theatre.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      2.
      In
      the
      bus:
      A
      fat
      girl
      wearing
      pointed
     
     
      high-heeled
      shoes
      steps
      on
      your
      feet...
     
     
      Q:
      Sorry,
      did
      that
      hurt?
     
    

    
     
      A:
      No,
      not
      at
      all,
      I’m
      on
      local
     
     
      anesthesia...
      Why
      don’t
      you
      try
      again,
     
     
      or
      shouldI
      try
      thistime?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      3.
      On
      the
      street:
      By
      pretty
      much
     
     
      anyone...
     
     
      Q:
      Hey,
      can
      I
      ask
      you
      a
      question?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A:
      Kinda
      narrowed
      my
      options
      there,
     
     
      didn’t
      you?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      4,
      At
      arestaurant:
      When
      you
      ask
      the
     
     
      waiter...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Is
      the
      “blah
      blah
      blah”
      dish
      good?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A:
      No,
      its
      terrible
      and
      made
      of
     
     
      adulterated
      cement.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      5.
      Ata
      family
      get-together:
      When
      some
     
     
      distant
      aunt
      meets
      you
      after
      years...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Ahhhh,
      you’ve
      become
      so
      big...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A:
      Well,
      you
      haven’t
      particularly
      shrunk
     
     
      yourself:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      6.
      When
      a
      friend
      announces
      her
     
     
      wedding,
      and
      you
      ask...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Is
      the
      guy
      you’re
      marrying
      good?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A:
      No,
      he’s
      a
      miserable
      wife-beating,
     
     
      insensitive
      clout...
      It’s
      just
      the
      money.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      7.
      When
      you
      get
      woken
      up
      at
      midnight
     
     
      by
      a
      phone
      call...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Sorry,
      were
      you
      sleeping?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A:
      No,
      I
      was
      playing
      cricket
      for
      India
     
     
      at
      Sharjah,
      and
      just
      when
      you
      called,
     
     
      Salim
      Malik
      was
      betting
      with
      me
      that
     
     
      Pakistan
      would
      win.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      8.
      When
      you
      see
      a
      friend/colleague
     
     
      with
      evidently
      shorter
      hair...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Hey
      have
      you
      had
      a
      haircut?
     
     
      A:
      No,
      its
      autumn,
      and
      I’m
      shedding...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      9.
      At
      the
      dentist:
      When
      he’s
      sticking
     
     
      pointed
      objects
      in
      your
      mouth...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ~
      Q:
      Tell
      me
      if
      it
      hurts?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A:
      And
      while
      I’m
      telling
      you,
      you
      tell
     
     
      me
      if
      I
      bite.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      10.
      You
      are
      smoking
      a
      cigarette,
      anda
     
     
      cute
      woman
      asks...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Q:
      Oh,
      so
      you
      smoke!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A:
      No,
      it’s
      a
      miracle...
      it
      was
      a
      chalk,
     
     
      and
      now
      it’s
      in
      flames!!!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Te
      aaa
      lil
     
    
   
   
    
     
      [e)ie
      tere,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      STUDENT
      CENTRE
     
     
      COURTYARD
     
    
   
   
    
     
      aro)
      e
      ac)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      eo
     
    
   
   
    
     
      iat
      rs
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ILS
      ae
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Te
      se
     
     
      >
      GIANT-SIZED
      PosTERS
     
     
      aN
      TUS
     
     
      ae
      Cue
     
    
   
   
    
     
      agin
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ee
      as
      Etsy
      Vash
     
    
   
   
    
     
      >
      1000s
      OF
      PosTERS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      a:
     
     
      AIMAGINUS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      POST
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SALE.