

     ' 
     
    
     the UPEI‘SUN,AMerch 4, 1982, page 5 ‘ , 
     
    
     FLA H . From SUN 3 Forergn Correspondent 
     
     ” After absentmindedly 
     
     straying into the Offices 
     
     »of the Student Activist 
     
     NrNtnemt, the Hunters and 
     
     Anglers, and Guelph Gay 
     
     “Equality, Adelbert finally 
     
     reached the Registration 
     
     office on Level 3 Via 
     
     Staircase 5. He fearlessly 
     
     tugged open the door, only' 
     
     to be swept halfway back 
     
     down the stairs by’the 
     
     'torrent of students leaving 
     
     the premises. When Adelbert 
     
     eventually gained entry 
     
     to the Registration office,, 
     
     he was again struck dumb 
     
     with awe. A room the size 
     
     of the ground floor of UPEI‘s 
     
     Barn was sectioned off 
     
     by scores of abominable ~ 
     
     yellow dividers. ,Signs ’ 
     
     designating the function 
     
     of each area hung from the 
     
     ceiling in such a manner 
     
     that Adelbert bumped into 
     
     at least thirty persons- 
     
     as he stunbled arOund 
     
     reading them. 
     
    
     The lineups were 
     
     interminable. After 
     
     standing for fifty—five 
     
     minutes in the Drop/Add 
     
     Courses line, Adelbert 
     
     rrealized that he was in the' 
     
     wrong one.i He then Spent 
     
    
     never referred to as 
     
     Engineering studegts? — 
     
     UG's feud sinners between 
     
     ' the Aggies and the Artsies) 
     
     Was room enough to park a 
     
     Beetle but certainly not 
     
     enough to park a tank-. 
     
     Finally, in the most remote 
     
     corner of campus... _ 
     
     Adelbert's next quest 
     
     _ was to discover which of the 
     
     five or six tall concrete 
     
     structures on campus was 
     
     the University Centre. 
     
     Eventually, after unplanned 
     
     tours of all seven levels ’ 
     
     of the Library, and all nine 
     
     floors of the Arts Building, 
     
     our fearless eXplorer a- 
     
     entered the UC. A 
     
     Today Adelbert would 
     
     'be only an ossified 
     
     monument to the curiosity[ 
     
     of man gazing in awestruck 
     
     "wonder, had not a surge of 
     
     students elbowed inabehind 
     
     him. The UC was ah 
     
     amazing zoo to the young 
     
     man fronrANonton. It 
     
     seemed like the hub of"a 
     
     busy community, home of the 
     
     .Whippletree restaurant 
     
     (tres classy), a hairdresser's 
     
     salon (tres eXpensive), 
     
     Mailboxes in which off 
     
    
     friends the thrills and 
     
     adventures Of recent 
     
     holidays, registration at 
     
     UG is tedious and ill- 
     
     managed. How tedious 
     
    
     you ask? well, gather 
     
     'round all my friends, 
     
    
     and lend, an ear to the 
     
    
     tale of Adelbert-of Avonton, 
     
     one dear young soul who just 
     
     barely survived the 
     
    
     rigors of Registration. 
     
    
     Having applied for admission~ . 
     
     into UG a full Honth prior ‘ 
     
     to Christmas, Adelbert 
     
     failed to comprehend why he 
     
     had received no word of 
     
     acceptance within due time, 
     
     fully aware that universities 
     
     had of late been plunged into 
     
     dire financial straits. Now, 
     
     non nor beast can be _ could dear Adelbert under— 
     
     caljoled into dashing off stand.why it took two days 
     
     impressive epistles of wit to reach anyone in the 
     
     and wisdom, I agreed out Admissions Office by 
     
     of sympathy to write a line telephone. Not heeding this 
     
     or two posed as the SUN's tardiness as ample‘warning 
     
     .Foreign Correspondent frcnl of future difficulties, 
     
     the city of Guelph, ' Adelbert departed for Guelph ‘ 
     
     Ontario. Here is my first with marvellous intentions 
     
     report: of registering with time to 
     
     After blundering spare before his afternoon 
     
     arOund much in the manner class. Judging from past i 
     
     of Inspector Clouseau, I experience, Adelbert assumed 
     
     have concluded that the that no person worthy of the 
     
     natives of Guelph's ivory student profession would be camPUS students receive.on . 4 n_ y y 
     
     .3, towers are friendly, quite out of bed before 11 a.m. If campus mail(tres-ordinary),f . ninetyrtnxynuhutes‘in;the;21¢_ 
     
     unlike the snObbiSh and I he arrived by 9 a.m. therefore,the university administration . second ICW”df'b0dieS}'ahdr”' 
     
     impersonal stereotype Adelbert reasoned that (tres bumbling), all student "Was next toube waited on 
     
     attached to those attending registration should pass organization (tres radical) then the Wicker gate Closed 
     
     Host large institutions. like a dream.r Miscalculation and the Canadian Imperialist and the Staff left for the 
     
     These scholars kindly point #1 fOr Adelbert. " Bank Of Commerce, When day. -A thoroughly disgusted 
     
     out distant nooks where the ‘ After an unscheduled. Adelbert had resurfaced to AGElbert whipped arOund and 
     
    
     . Greetings from John 
     
     Galt's city on the banks 
     
     of the Speed River, _ 
     
     strategically located in 
     
     Prince Billy's Land, the 
     
     heart of the Kingdom's 
     
     industrial wasteland. . 
     
     This is the area praised 
     
     glowingly in song as a 
     
     place to stand «where man 
     
     can even walk on the 
     
     water) and a place to 
     
     grow(in the shadows of 
     
     concrete erections), even 
     
     now that the milk and the 
     
     honey which once rose 
     
     so freely have dried up 
     
     and moved westward. 
     
    
     Knowing all too well 
     
     the agonies suffered by 
     
     an editor when neither 
     
    
     reality, he was forced to 
     
    
     facilities are concealed, self-conducted tour of the 
     
     and politely refrain from 
     
    
     wild outbursts of laughter 
     
    
     1100 acre campus, Adelbert 
     
    
     finally distinguished 
     
    
     when you walk into the wrong between a myriad of 
     
    
     classroom every day for 
     
    
     two consecutive weeks. It 
     
    
     is unfortunate, however, 
     
     that the same compliment 
     
     cannot be paid to the 
     
     bureaucratic process at 
     
     the University of Guelph. 
     
     The prime example of 
     
     recent administrative 
     
     bumbling that springs to 
     
     mind is Registration. 
     
     Unlike UPEI, where 
     
     Registration Day is a 
     
     wonderful opportunity to 
     
    
     visitor and student 
     
     parking lots,. His next 
     
     discovery, however, 
     
     banished any hope of 
     
     finding a parking spot 
     
     close to classes, for— 
     
     amidst the Hendas and the 
     
     piCk—up trucks (pick-ups 
     
     in central Canada?) ' 
     
     Remember that UG is 
     
    
     renowned for its Agricultural eat frdm one of the UNLS many- 
     
    
     College. Where UPEI's 
     
     feud broils between the 
     
    
     Engineers and the Biology 7* 
     
    
     turn down his hearing aid, 
     
     for it sounded as if all 
     
     full—time students were 
     
     gathered in the UC. 
     
     abounded in all pOSitions; 
     
     some Of those stretched on 
     
     couches in the lounges 
     
     looked as if they had been 
     
     snoring there since John 
     
     Galt founded Guelph in 
     
     1827. Realizing that 
     
    
     lunch time was long overdue, 
     
    
     Adelbert grabbed a bite to 
     
    
     snack bars and resumed his 
     
    
     search for.. what was it? .. 
     
    
     ah yes, the Registration 
     
    
     Bodies 
     
    
     . was about to rush out when 
     
    
     the tall redheaded female 
     
     behind him asked if he'd 
     
     join her downstairs. A 
     
     puzzled Adelbert agreed 
     
     and folloWed her doWn a, 
     
    
     ' flight of stairs, and what 
     
    
     to his wondering eye 
     
     should appear, but a few 
     
     hundred students in a pub 
     
     drinking beer. \ 
     
     ‘So, my dear friends, 
     
     you have anginkling of the 7“ 
     
     trials inflicted upon those , 
     
     registering at UG. Take » 
     
     heed from the experience 
     
     of young Adelberthf Avonton, 
     
     and next tine, ﬁre-Register. 
     
    
     By our beloved old ed,’ 
     
     , Maureen Hartman- 
     
    
     MOVIES  
     
    
     ‘ r FRIDAY 2:00 pun“: .i -- 
     
    
     office. 
     
    
     rehash with longtime student -thy are they 
     
    
      morn "Tum-mom 
     
     ‘ B ‘ I “‘2 E . ' 
     
    
     im ‘  Sworn; 
     
     STEAKHOUS 
     
    
     Fﬂnllluulmlﬂu'uumihnk 
     
     Char-broiled steaks and burgers 
     
    
     K-MART PLAZA 
     
    
     lg 
     
     L Ph. 
     
    
     E  (SPECIAL muons BOTH insets) 
     
    
     CRRZ‘) HAT 
     
    
      N‘TEWED’ . 'e 
     
    
     . Oyternpon  
     
    
     ,6...— 
     
    
     _.r...i;  7 
     
    
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