page 6 (1;; .-.-= .u-v as”) The Netted Gem Calendar Thursday Thursday, September 20: Engineer’s pub from 9 to l at the Barn. Music by Eclipse. Admission free to freshettes but $1 to others, 5c from each beer sold goes to the Terry Fox fund. Thursday, September 20: “How to Study Math”, the last of the Studentship lec- tures, will be given at 4:30 in Room 208 Dalton. Ffiday Friday, September let. Lunchtime 11:30 to 1 p.m. Cheese and Fruit Bar. A variety of cheeses and fresh fruit at 40¢ each. Friday, September 21: Movies playing in the Lounge this week are 48 Hours, Footloose, and The Thing. Friday. September 21: Hear Dr. Ronald Baker, President Emeritus of UPEI, speak on “Some Universities in Thailand, Malaysia, Australia, and New Zealand” at 3:30 in the Faculty Lounge Main Building. All welcome, happy Friday, September 21: In field hockey, UPEI plays Mt. A at 4 p.m. Friday, September I 21: Parking Lot C closes. Saturday Saturday: Fencing Club at 10:30 to noon. All welcome. Kid brothers or sisters can come from 9 to 10:30 am. Sunday‘ Sunday, September 23: In field hockey, UPEI plays Moncton at l p.m. Tuesday Tuesday, September 25th. Lunchtime 11:30 to 1 p.m. Sandwich Bar. Make your own sandwich on a kaiser bun or our home-made french bread. You make it! We weigh it! 30¢ per ounce. Wednesday Wednesday, September 26: Psych Club meets at 1:30 in Kelly 237. Thursday Thursday, September 27th. Suppertime 4:30 to 6 p.m. “Berried Treasures”, “Make you own shortcake”. We will have t-biscuits, a variety of fillings and oodles of whipped topping. 60¢ each. Thursday, September 27: Business Society Pub from 9 to 1 in the Barn. See page 10. hour from 4:30 to 6 p.m. “ plcprjn’ ON ME? 1 The Spa West Royalty Fitness Center in the Ch’town Mall 566-1400 - STUDENT MEMBERSHIP Racquet Club $192 Fitness Club $155 Goodxtill April 15/85 Our Facilities Include: 2 Tennis Courts Swimming Pool Jogging Track Sunrooms 1 Pro Shop Babysitting Room 4 Racquetball Courts 2 International Squash Courts Men’s & Ladies Sauna Men's & Ladies Whirlpool Weight Training Centre Olympic Weight Room Broken Racquet Club Men‘s & Ladies Locker Rooms Individual Instruction Available in Racquetball, Squash, Tennis, thess, Swimming, Golf, Weight Training. We are Eastern Canada’s most complete Fitness/Racquet Club *flfiéeaeemee September 20, 1984' Viewtrom the Top. \ In the beginning, there was Cranston Snord giving you the view from the U.P.E.I. Engineering Society —— the View from the TOP. After a brief retirement, he has arisen to prove to everyone on campus that you can’t keep an Engineer down too long; unless you are a girl, of course. But as Batman has Robin, Clark Kent has Lois Lane, Laurel has Hardy, and Chuck has Di (twice), Cranston now has Walter P. Capon bring- ing you the color com- mentary on campus life. The Never-Ever Ending Story — By W. P. Capon and crew Our story is about Fortes- quoopie, a hero of sorts. It was a hard name to learn to spell; but by the end of English 101, he had mastered it. Fortesquoopie heard of a land far away (just like in other stories —— so we won’t explain what it looked like because you can use your imagination for that). And this land was being harassed by a terrible crea- ture known by the locals as razinbagg. This creature was horrible. Disgusting. It looked quite a bit like a cat with one eye and a tail on its head. The reason the people were so scared of the razinbagg was because it walked back- wards. So, as most stories go, our hero want to kill it; but he was not smart enough to know how. Fortesquoopie went to the smart man on the mountain. No one knew how he be- came so smart; but they guessed it had something to do with wizicks. And, of course, he lived on top of a mountain, which was the other requirement for being smart. The smart man told him he could only kill the creature with a special sword made of pig meat. Fortesquoopie did not understand what a sword of pig meat was; but after he had drank all the smart man’s beer, he found out what a sword of pig meat was. So he went and stabbed the razinbagg right in the eye with his sword. The creature screamed and tried to push the sword out but Fortes- quoopie kept pushing. This is sort of the end of the story, but it is not finished because out of no- where came all sorts of little razinbaggs. Things looked desperate but Fortesquoopie consoled himself with the thought that there was only one thing worse than flogging a dead horse to be continued. (Editor’s note: The End.) Engineer’s Dictionary Sass-a—frass: something you don’t do to a 250 lb. frass. traffic light: a little green light that turns red as you approach it. head-banger: a woodpecker with no beak. ' cocaine: thinking man’s Dristan. chocolate lips: speak for themselves. The Engineering Society is donating five cents from each beer purchased at the pub tonight to the Terry Fox Run. All freshettes are admitted free. So we’ll see you there. ’15 UKE‘S" Var/g!" Trivial Pursuit CH What part of a rooster does a capon not have? PUB Why does the cafeteria serve pizza the day after a pub? AE Does anyone know where the Anthropology Dept. is? ' BIO Whose chicken was choking in the Field Biology lab last week? , JIl/‘WS .'=.'::':-'. ' .a:='...-:........ . fifififififififim ~+- ; ALLTHE LATEST RELEASES ON A GIANI 10 ft. SCREEN Insane-gm :afi