ADVICE TO MEN FROM

TY WHO AR

C hee

Lisa Robinson and Christine Parker attempt to clue us in

e are two women who are fed up

with the way men treat women.

For instance, the pick-up line: the

only women who would fall for so

obvious a ploy are either extremely

stupid or desperate (for example: a woinan who has been deprived of sexual activi- ties for a prolonged period of time, or a nym- phomaniac). So we have devised general hints for men.

Point To Ponder #1: Never bring up the topic of sex, or most things related to sex within the first five minutes of conversation as this is a real turn-off. ie. You just met her and the first words out of your mouth are along the lines of “Hey Baby! Let’s go...”. This come-on does not work.

Point To Ponder #2: Do not mention ex- girlfriend in any manner whatsoever, not evena “Oh no! She’s here.” If you should forget this point, remember not to refer to the ex as a “bitch”, “slut” or “whore” as this demeaning use of words demonstrates that you have little or no respect for women.

** If you should mention the “ex”, this

shows the woman, who could be a potential girlfriend, that you have been thinking about the “other woman” and that you are not over her yet. If she dumped you, get over her, she obviously is over you. However, if you dumped her and are feeling remorse, get over it. YOU dumped her!!

Point To Ponder #3: If you ask a woman out ona date, pick her up with a vehicle. If you do not have means of transportation, arrange a suitable location tomeet. Do NOT assume that she will delight in picking you up as this conduct demonstrates that you have little or no respect for her.

Point To Ponder #4: If you do ask her out, don’t leave the time open. ie. “Would you like to go out SOMETIME?” If you really want to go out with her, say specifically when.

Point To Ponder #5: If you ask her out and she says she can’t that day, but suggests an alternate night/time, that means she likes you and really does want to go out with you.

Point To Ponder #6: If you asked her out but she hesitated to answer, and/or gave a flimsy

excuse, then she probably likes you as a friend but not as a potential mate.

Point To Ponder #7: About the date itself, don’t leave the activity open. Tell her or suggest a place to go, or things to do. Make sure it is public. The woman does not know you very well, and therefore will not trust you. Telling her where or what the activity is will give her an idea as to suitable attire.

Point To Ponder #8: When on the date, act like you are mature. Do not make noises with your body parts. ie. burps, farts. Do not criticise the food or the service, should you be eating out. She will think you an arrogant, rich boy trying to show off. Try to take her to a good restaurant unless she suggests otherwise. ie. NOT McDonald’s: she can go there anytime. Since it was you who asked HER out, YOU pick up the tab, unless she insists otherwise. Finally, treat her for the lady that she is and she might actually consider going out with you again.

* Note that all women are ladies and want to be treated as such, whether you treat them that way or not. Likewise, you are considered a

WAL

BEFORE

16/X-Press/October 7, 1993

HEY, BABE — WANNA LL k MY BEARPED,

ONE-EYEP LOVE DOG 2

AFTER

AND SO WHEN THE QUESTION KNOWS HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN, I CAN SAY WITHOUT BOAST OR BRAVAPO, “T AM THAT MAN.” IVE DELIVERED THE SMALL, KISSES, I'VE ADMINISTERED THE SOFT CARESSES, AND FROM HILLS TO HOLLOWS, IN_ CITI

ON THE LONELIEST STREETS OF AMERICA, I HAVE WHISPERED THE TENPER ENPEARMENTS FOR WHICH WOMEN SO DESPERATELY YEARN -

IS, WHO

BREATHY

ES AND SUBURBS ANP