Dear Establishment,

We thank you for your patient and~

gentle critique of this newspaper. Mostly I can see your point. Perhaps Stephan and I, as is gracefully sug- gested in your thoughtful missive, have been spénding too much time dealing with concerts and promotions and things that do not, indeed, effect the root cause we are supposed to be engaged in; that is the making of this newspaper. As your salvo later sug- gests, perhaps we have become pigs Merely attending a trough of luxuries and back-room deals that, frankly, are Siving me cause to not be able to

Somnesaniill

Dead Letter Office

sleep. And I can see from your bril-

~ liant, and insightful “man of the cloth”

comment that you are commenting on the recent problems we have had inside these pages. Is it my fault? Am

I just a neutered animal trapping

through the motions of a world with which I share almost nothing except a

bileful contempt. Yes, I am. Am I

afraid that I will die a lonely death and have, as you so keenly point out, noth- ing but the memory of my failed life, or “shit” as you put it, to remember? I am. Would I like to buy a stereo? No, I have learned. I have learned. I will not die with shit as my companion. And I hope Stephan won’t either. -Ed.

Dear Dave,

Here’s the thing. We like to run cam- pus ads. We enjoy promoting the

goings-on in this fine little place.

But we also like free stuff. Free CDs, beer coupons, cigarettes, pizza, Mr. Christie brand snack foods, pop, passes to local plays, movies, con- certs and extravaganzi. But you busi- ness people have not given us any- thing for free. Instead you have treat- ed us like one of your own. Now, first let it be said that I was once like you. Yes, I was once a member of the business society, circa 1995. Before I wised up. What they are building

there is an inferneal cult of bottom- feeding louses (no, no, that’s us, sorry) who will surely break you if you don’t get out while you can. The business society, it has been foretold, will be appointed the head of all the universe (sorry, us again) and what sweeping carnage will lay in its wake, we can only guess. My only advice to you is to get out while you can. Pull the chord. And, jesus, do we really need another pub crawl? And if we do, and you really want to pro- mote it, I suggest next time you don’t cheap out and actually give us a cou- ple of FREE passes, dig? FREE! - Ed.