Dead Letter Office

the cinephile: love it Dear DLO:

I was horrified by a serious omission in the October 12" (or 13") edition of the Cadre. My favourite part of the Cadre these past few weeks has been “the cinephile,” written by that frightfully well-opinioned Jeff Coll fellow. I was so looking forward to reading his opinions-on all the latest films, but much to my dismay, he was nowhere to be found within the pages of the Cadre. I am sure that ~ Mr. Coll would not abandon us, leaving that Hollywood- blaming cartoon fellow in the Buzz (who, might I add, could not identify a good film if it came out of his rectal area) as the sole film reviewer in print on PEI. At the very least, I was able to read Mr. Coll’s incredibly clever review of the new Puya album. One thing is for sure: Mr. Coll certainly has fine taste (unlike that Holly- wood-blaming cartoon fellow in the Buzz).

Eagerly anticipating the return of “the cinephile.”

Consuela Wilmington

the cinephile: hate it

Dear DLO:

I was pleased with a welcome .

omission in the October 12" (or 13") edition of the Cadre. My least favourite part of the Cadre these past few weeks has been “the cinephile,” written by that frightfully badly-opinioned Jeff Coll fellow. I was so looking forward to seeing his inevitable downfall, and much to my delight, he was nowhere to be found within the pages of the Cadre. I am sure that Mr. Coll will be content with returning to his marginally better-paying job at Tim Hortons on Mt. Edward Road, leaving that Hollywood-blaming cartoon fellow in the Buzz (who, might I add, could identify a good film if it came out of his rectal area) as unquestionably the best film reviewer in print on PEI. Much to my dismay, I was subjected to read Mr. Coll’s incredibly terrible review of the new Puya album.

One thing is for sure: Mr. Coll certainly has poor taste (unlike that Hollywood- blaming cartoon fellow in the Buzz).

Eagerly anticipating to get back to Kansas.

Dorothy Gail

Run with it Kay!

Dear DLO:

Was it just me, or was

that Guy Gavriel Kay fellow a pretentious shit? I mean, I spent three minutes in the English Lounge with him and I had to leave for fear of strangling him. From the first moment Mr. Kay entered the room, he immediately established his superiority complex by complaining that Shake- speare in Love trivialized the accomplishments of au- thors. He went on to say that he, “had not seen so much running in a film since Chariots of Fire.” This only proves that he had not seen a film since 1981, because we all know that Forrest Gump had much more running than Shake- speare in Love. My point is that all three films won the Academy Award for Best Picture in their respective years. This means that Run Lola Run is practically guaranteed to win Best Picture this year,

because it had more running than

the previous three films combined. I think Mr. Kay himself could be on the road to a Pulitzer Prize if only he let go of his inhibi- tions and wrote more about running.

Most humbly.

the cinephile

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