26

The Panther Prints

February 13, 1996

Her View His View

By Jane Lucricia

I read a book a few years ago that suggested every women should have two men in her life. I was repulsed at the time, but now a little older and hopefully more mature, I agree with the ideas the author presented. The reasons the book presented for a woman to need two men were purely sexual my reasons are emotional and partly sexual. Don’t stopreading yet hear me out make come to your own conclusions and let me know what you think.

It’s very hard to find one person that satisfies every aspect of my personality. I have friends who fulfill my intellectual needs: long talks about war, politics and other academic discussions. Then I have friends who satisfy my need for totally crazy conversation such as: ‘‘ifI wasa piece of furniture what piece of furniture would! be”’ -- that sort of thing. Think about the person that you consider to be your best friend. How long has it taken you to build up that relationship? It’s tough to finda friend that will stick with you and who will understand you most of the time, a friend who will satisfy your emotional side. It is even harder to find a lover that satisfies all of my needs. That’s why I think every woman should havea couple of lovers.

I’ve had lovers who are romantic

slow, patient lovers, and I’ve had partners who are playful, imaginative and so very sexy. If get bored of being with one, I go back to another. My lovers know! am constantly switching back and forth between them and no

Ed. Note: This week’s His View was

one seems to mind. They don’t mind written by a special guest writer. The only

because my partners know that they alone can’t satisfy me in every aspect of my complicated little life. Some people think that the same lover all their life is the only correct way to havearelationship. Personallyit would bore the hell out ofme; I would quickly start to wander which wouldn’t be fair to my lover. Each lover should have different characteristics; one should be the slow, gentle lover -- someone to read you Shakespeare while you are making love. The other lover should be one that you can have passionate arguments with and then fall into each others arms and end up having wild sex wherever you happen to be. Having two lovers fills your life and may make you a better person. After all, a person who is happy and satisfied will work better and be more productive. This idea of having two lovers really only works for women. The only reason a man would require two lovers is because he wants to feed his ego. He wants to go up to his friends and brag about all the women he’s doing. Women do not brag, we use discretion. Howmany men do you know who are not satisfied after a romp in the hay? As long as he gets off, he’s happy. For women, it is so much more. The emotional and the sexual must be present for a woman to havea pleasant sexual experience. Men only want the physical aspects of sex. Now my only problem is: how should I tell my newest lover that he is but one of two, or three, or maybe more?

See

THE MAUNGIAM REBBERSHAKE SHEDS (TE Seal SEASONAL,

CUP GRAFIC The Anaus

reply that Lee Walters could come up with to Jane’s article is that Jane is a slut. A.C.

Finding the right partner for

life is a very difficult undertaking.

Some lucky people find their partner

very quickly, and are happy with

them. This, in all encounters I have seen, usually occurs in cases where the people don’t start looking seriously until they have finished most of their own personal growth. Young marrages don’t often occur in the university population, but early engagements do and can be prone to breakup. The above is not set in stone, however, merely trends I have noted.

I am one of those trend- breakers. I am engaged, with the first person I have ever had a sane relationship with. Everything I have encountered either by myself, through seeing my friends foul up and get fouled up, and from having dabbled with a psychology minor, gives me every confidance that our relationship will work. The first good sign I got was from the second - time we met (in a store we both like, if you must know), when she asked “Do you like intellegent women?’’ Of course, who wouldn’t? You see, it requires intellegence to be interesting, and to be truely changable. My fiancee is both completely departed from reality, and very serious and realistic. We can discuss anything from heavy philosophy, to Calvin-Magic, to how to take over the world and what we would then do. We can read each other at a glance, and there have been times when I know how she feels before she herself has figured it out, and vice versa.

But wouldn’t the same person get boring, one might ask? Yes, if they were the same person. But that is one of the magical things about humans, at least the intellegent ones. They grow. They change. They aren’t the same all the time. When partners are well connected, they can usually tell what kind of a mood their lover is in, and can accomodate. Maybe that means slowing down when you want to jump your lover, or working yourself up to jump when you want to be seduced. Why go to all that effort just to please them though. It’s all effort on your part then, isn’t it? It is, until they return the favour. Between people who are capable of this you will very rarely find any stagnation.

Having one committed lover, a lifemate if you will, can be as physically and emotionally satisfying as having an orgy of friends waiting for you at home. Your intimacy and emotional needs and wants can be met with only one mate. Friends, just normal, completely non-sexual friends can enhance it further by adding variety of thought, which is much harder than variety of sexual contact. There is something else though, that you get from a lifemate that I don’t see happening among the less commited partners around me. Absolute loyalty. I can be absolutely certain that no matter what happens, my

fiancee will be there, and be on my

side. I will never be alone; she will be with me from now to death, and then beyond. That sense of underlying perminance and loyalty, I _ feel, is of truely special value as the world becomes increasingly full of turmoil.

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