was going to stoop to considering bribery, I’d have used more than nick- els and pennies which came to a total of, I think, 72 cents, right? I wouldn’t have insulted the hardworking Cadre staff by offering too little (what IS the cost of one beer?).)

The coins were on _ their respective sides, that is, they were the checkers. Copper on one side. Silver (or at least in colour) on the other.

And I glued them there.

(I work surprisingly quickly. And just to allay fears here, I did get all my university work done on time.)

Would a bribe be glued to something? (Okay, I did choose to use glue that would easily wash off with water, and maybe I did mention this in my entry’s note.)

Still, the suggestion of bribery might have stung just a little.

Which may be why there is this second eggman competition (not

to be confused in any way with a strongman competition). There may also be this second egg challenge because Jeff Coll counted my check- ers squares and wisely caught that there was one row too many. (I blame myself. I should never have talked about critical thinking when Jeff was an excellent student in one of my University 100 courses ages ago. I knew he was perceptive, I knew I couldn’t get much past him and the other fine Cadre folk. And dammit, I’d counted the squares when my entry was done and I knew I’d goofed.)

Still.

Enough is enough. I entered my entries (the checkers one was the last desperate attempt). And have to say that Professors Murray and Wiackaies had MUCH better entries than I did. And I was (embarrassingly) happy to be tied for second. And then we awaited our promised prizes.

ye

institution abroad.

Building Canada’s Global Future

J. ARMAND BOMBARDIER INTERNATIONALIST FELLOWSHIPS

25 Fellowships of $10,000 each First Competition — Academic Year 2002/03

Application Deadline: March 1, 2002

Guidelines and application forms: http://www.cbie.ca/canstu. html

Open to all disciplines of study, the goal of the fellowships is to build a cadre of young Canadians who can play a leading role in today’s knowledge-based global economy and thus contribute to the prosperity of Canada and to society worldwide. Interested candidates must hold at least one university degree, show outstanding academic performance as well as personal suitability and present a clear study plan or a combination of study and research or work at an

Fellowships are sponsored by J. Armand Bombardier Foundation, a private foundation created in 1965 to perpetuate the memory of the life, achievements, and social and humanitarian work of Joseph Armand Bombardier. The program is managed by the Canadian Bureau for International Education (CBIE).

_ For further information, please contact: J. Armand Bombardier Internationalist Fellowships Canadian Bureau for International Education 220 Laurier Avenue West, Suite 1100 Ortawa, Ontario K1P 1Z9 Tel: (613) 237-4820, ext. 234 Fax: (613) 237-1073

E-mail: SMelanson@cbie.ca =

aha,

Qi SS ay SOE Ree ee. ¢

. FONDATION

J, ARMAND BOMBARDIER

I checked recently with the winner to see if she was still awaiting her prize, or was it just me? No, turns out. she was still waiting. So, maybe, just maybe, these eggman contests will be flung at The Cadre until there really ARE prizes. Or until they print their paper not upside down. (That’s a joke. I got the dual covers, and must applaud them —- they were great and should be t-shirts. You don’t see many cat toasters.)

Finally, here’s the second eggman contest. I’m challenging The Cadre staff (and I do greatly respect and like their writing ability) (specifi- cally I’m_ challenging Matthew Dorrell, Jeff Coll (for reasons outlined above) and Stephan MacLeod (just ‘cause) to assemble a KINDER EGG each, while being photographed (for the paper, of course) and timed.

Any other Cadre person is welcome to put together an egg in such fashion too (I’ve just bought a limited number of them). I just really thought the potential for humiliation, I mean of course fun, was blatantly evi- dent with Matthew, Jeff, and Stephan.

The rules are fairly non-exis- tent. To parallel the crummy paper I was given to colour, at first I thought they should put together their eggs WITHOUT (sans) the instructions. But then again, I’ve put together KINDER EGGS, and those instruc- tions ARE tiny. And first they’ll have to unfold them. And when you think of it, wouldn’t it be more risky for them to be filmed and timed WITH all the instructions? Supposing one of them (or more) couldn’t, even with detailed instructions (tiny though they may be), put together in a timely archived fashion a simple KINDER EGG?

NOTICE

For all those interested in volunteering for the planning of Senior Class Grad Week activities, there is a meeting February Ist, at 1:30, in the Bar. Hope to see lots of people there.

The rule is, if one of the things to put together is a basic spinning top (or similar), upon which you just have to slap a flower sticker or something, the competitor will unwrap another egg. And so on until a “suitable” puz- zle/toy is found. (Or course, this is making the assumption that spinning tops and sticker placement are not too intellectual for any particular sleep- deprived-while-getting-the-paper-out individual.)

Prizes for the fastest (and most correctly constructed) eggman innards will be awarded. (Awarded when first eggman competitors are awarded their talked-about prizes.)

There will be offical time kept. Good lighting will be allowed (again, at first I’d thought no). Nothing will be thrown while com- petitors are assembling.

I think that’s everything. Probably more than everything. And an upcoming issue may follow-up on some of this. And I can’t end without mentioning how much I enjoyed the Christmas issue. Fine work. I look for- ward to more like it (but then I look forward to every issue).

Sincerely, Professor Lesley-Anne Bourne

Thanks for the note. We don’t often get mail that, um, thorough.

One thing I have learned here at The Cadre is that often, choices dont extend beyond taking what you are given. Sometimes it’s rather porous paper that smears both print and crayons, sometimes it’s a whop- ping fifteen dollars an issue in pay for reporters (the mentioned 72 cent not- a-bribe would constitute a 5% increase in take-home pay), but other times it’s 30+ pages of content for the holiday issue, or a (mostly) compli- mentary letter of unprecedented length about eggmen contests. You lose some, you win some. But this new eggman competition, I intend to win.

As to the clever “double cover” issue of The Cadre, debate rages on between those who feel it depicts a cat ottoman, those who see a cat toaster, and those who think maybe its a mouse-loaf. -Ed.

[15]