Marcu 22, 2005

THE CADRE @ 5

Dear Mr. Editor,

an Ihave been reading The Cadre regularly ever since September 2003, and I always read EVERY article, except, of course, if it has anything to do with sports. Anyway, I am writing this letter because I believe that the OPINION & COMMENTARY section in the March Ist issue (Volume 35, Issue 13) was some of the best stuff written in the past two years. Reporter Jamie McGuigan wrote Get Shitcanned and Watch the OC! and UPEI Student Hits New Low; Friends Disgusted. These are two fine examples of good reporting, giving us a bit of news with some added good humor. Jamie’s writing is pure genius and deserves acknowledgment. Keep up the good work. I would also like to add that I think Mr. Advice is great.’

James Arsenault

Dear Mr. Editor, As a fourth year business student, I have spent my fair share of

time in the Kelley building. Inevitably, .

Ialso have extensive experience with the male bathroom facilities in the Kelley building. These experiences have always been conventional and for the most part standard procedure. Until last month that is. In January of 2005, someone turned out the lights on me while I sat on the donut in the mens lavatory, on three separate occasions. Before the lights went out on all three occasions, nobody checked to see if someone was using the facility. Furthermore, I happened to be the only person present when the room went dark in all three cases. This is proof that the perpetrator committed these three acts of discourtesy with the intent to sabotage me. On one occasion, I was

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

absolutely humiliated when someone turned on the lights and discovered my black boots dangling below the stall door. They probably thought I was some kind of weirdo who enjoys performing bodily functions in the dark. It’s odd to me that this kind of “potty humour” which was hilarious at the age of five and, although it shouldn’t be at this later stage of life, still is for some

‘people. For those of you who have

never had the discomfort of using the bathroom in the dark, I tell you that it isn’t humorous in any way. I want the culprit to take responsibility for his/her actions by revealing their identity to me.

| I warn, if] have to find you myself, I’m

a trained fighter and I will show you a new meaning of the “lights out” concept

John-Arch MacDougall

Dear Mr. Editor,

I think it’s ridiculous that the

Managing Editor of the Cadre is also running for the position of President in the upcoming student elections. Some would find, that there exists, a conflict of interest within these two roles (managing editor and political candidate) because there exists a temptation to promote oneself unfairly. I fear that Ryan Gallant, the Cadre’s Managing Editor, has used his position to unfairly promote himself.

Ryan has done this by including his unregistered trademark: an R within a circle, and email address on both his election posters and his page 2 article in the Cadre. This is clearly a conflict of interest because other candidates are not permitted to use the Cadre to promote themselves.

James Baglole Business

-| an

Ask Mr. Advice

Dear Mr. Advice,

I am a SWM, about 6' who enjoys long walks on the beach and smelling flowers and laying XBox. I live with my dad, which is cool, because my mom ran off with some newspaper advice columnist with most of our possessions about a year ago. Shortly after my mother took off, I encouraged dad to maybe go on a date or something (you know, so he could have some fun and get his mind off of things). I never really thought it would develop into ing serious... just dinner and a movie, and never call her again (like real men do it). So anyway, last week he told me that the woman he was with now was really great, and that he even called her atk and they had hung out a couple of times. A few days later I came home to something that will be forever branded into my memory: My pop necking with a girl on the couch... and not just any girl, but my secret crush! He’s like 20 years older than her! Imagine my surprise! Oh Mr. Advice, I was near sick. Iran up to my room and drowned my sorrows in chocolate milk. Now I see them spoonin’ all over the house, watching movies like “13 Going on 30” and shows like Gilmore Girls... that used to be mine and dad’s show!

What ever will I do??? HELP! Regards, Perv’s Son. Dear Perv, That’s friggin’ sick man. If were

you I’d probably tear my eyes out and feed them to the crows. Anyway, if this chick found out that you liked Gilmore Girls (regardless of whether she liked it or not) she’d never go out with you. It’s a pretty ‘feminine’ show, you must admit. So yeah, my advice: rip your eyes out and feed them to the crows. I think that’s all [have to say. Your mom says hi. Hope this helps!

Tam Mr. Advice

Mr. Advice,

Me and my friend are having a fight and we want to know what you think about what were fighting about. If the entire school of business was to take on the entire faculty of science who’d win? I say science, he says business. thanx.

signed just wunderin in rez

Dear “wunderin,”

You know, it’s a requirement at UPEI to take English 101, and you are also required to pass this course. You must have the IQ of a moldy bowl of Rice Krispies. In response to your question, idiot, it all depends. First: is it on a pub-crawl or not? If so, I say business would take it (they have a lot of experience with this... I don’t think they even go to class anymore). Second: Weapons taken from faculty buildings? This would po 50/50, as science students would probably conquer in the short run with their pig fetus slingshots (compliments of bio and engineering) and their various chemicals. Business students would win in the long run by successfully giving all of the Science students cancer with the asbestos taken from Kelly Building ceiling. Finally: Profs or no Profs? If yes, science would take it.

No questions. Dr. Saad in the Math Department could single handedly take down the entire School of Business in a matter of minutes.

Good question. Hope this helps!

Iam, Mr. Advice

ee He’s got answers! SEND ‘EM IN!