Travel The World & Get Paid to:

Teach English

by Joel Gillespie and Nickleback

(Based on Someday by Nickleback)

I would like an explanation for the reason that we have arrived at this juncture. We must have been temporarily visually impaired or men- tally delaying the obvious for not being able to grasp the unpleasant situation in which we find ourselves. Had we not been so optimistically buoyant, we might have been able to diffuse and further rectify the situation.

Ideally, you would relax the punching muscles in your hands and empty the contents of your overnight bags. I have noticed that these events have occurred with an increased frequen- cy and intensity, yet I fully believe that these events are preventable. There is no single that is disagreeable, given the fact that you acknowl- edge that this truth is self-evident:

At a future, undisclosed date, and in a manner I am not currently able to describe, I will solve all the potential difficulties betwixt the two

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of us. I have been advised that you are currently contemplating when these events will come to pass; however, you're the only one who knows that.

Since you are currently located in a prox- imity close to my being, I believe it would be a wonderful idea to have a thoughtful, honest dis- course, during which we will express long- repressed and delayed thoughts and emotions. By doing so, we could -- potentially -- change the future, evolving this relationship from a formula- ic pulp or a routine slasher motion picture into a more suitable denouement.

Again, I should add that as long as you know that in the vaguely distant future our once- vibrant (but now turbulent) relationship will be repaired, there is nothing wrong. In the weeks, months, years, and potentially decades ahead, and through some sort of manipulation of infor- mation, our interpersonal interactions will be mutually acceptable again. But not at this time. I can only assume that you would like to know a more specific date and time that these events will come to pass; however, I defer this information to you, as you are the one that holds the cards in this situation.

By what place of eternal damnation did the two of us arrive at this unfortunate emotional environment? There were obvious demarcations and warnings, yet we chose to ignore them. Had our senses been attuned to external events, we may have been able to provide a solution to this quagmire. However, due to our collective inat- tentiveness, our plotline has degenerated into a pulp-like, predictable ending. If we are not care- ful, it could morph into an unfortunate film treat- ment of a bloodbath produced in the southern

regions of California.

Nothing's wrong, just as long as you know that someday, somehow, I'm gonna make it alright -- but not now. I know you're wondering when, but you're the only one who knows that.

UPEI Cadre April 5, 2004 page 17

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