Underwater, no-one can hear you scream

by Gilles Castonguay Charlatan Staff

o you thought Alien was pretty S cool and E.T. was pretty cute?

Then you'll love this year’s multi-million dollar hit The Abyss, right? Wrong--unless your into total rip-offs.

Hyped as the epic adventure of the summer, The Abyss is the story of a rag-

The Abyss Directed by

James Cameron

tag crew isolated from the rest of the world who are being held captive by a crazy army officer with a nuclear de- vice threatening to blow up everyone-- including himself.

It has it all--a dark and lonely place, ugly hardware, sophisticated machinery, a good guy, a bad guy, rekindled love, a mysterious lifeform combined with stupid dialogue, a bor- ing climax and a predictable ending.

One expects more from James Cameron who brought us The “‘fuck off, asshole” Terminator and that rol- lercoaster-ride of a movie, Aliens.

But as it turns out, The Abyss shows litte promise.

Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mas- trantonio got themselves involved in this fiasco as crew members of Deepcore, an underwater oil-rig work-

They're heeere.

ing at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean near the Caribbean.

Their colleagues are the usual des- picable lot of hard-nosed employees of Benthic Petroleum, your basic anony- mous corporation which owns the rig.

With the mysterious disappearance of the USS Montana, the U.S. Navy

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persuades the crew-to search for the nuclear submarine with the help of four specially-trained Marines, one of them being Michael Biehn, who starred in Cameron’s two earlier films, as Lt. Coffey.

Stubborn military officials and over- zealous commandos inevitably bring

Consider what's involved

_ the operation near the brink of disaster

with Deepcore hanging perilously at the edge of the Cayman Trough, or, more notably, the abyss.

What's more, pink-glowing gumby butterflies whizz around occasionally to captivate the divers and annoy the audience. Are they an intelligent life form? Are they friendly? Can they save these mortal humans from them- selves? Does anybody care?

At this point in the movie, one can- not help but be reminded of Steven Spielberg’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Ridley Scott’s Alien--but don’t

- make the mistake of comparing The

Abyss with either of them. #

Cameron fails to evoke the same warm fuzzies with Manstrantonio’s alien encounters as did Spielberg in E.T. and Close Encounters. The scenes of the terrified crew running around in the dripping bowels of the Deepcore oil-rig, encountering relentless con- frontations with a psychopathic being have already been done with the spaceship Nostromo in Alien.

_ Sure, The Abyss has some neat spe- cial effects, great underwater stunts and breathtaking cinematography, ~ but that alone does not constitute a movie.

Save your $7.00. Buy a container of Jiffy-Pop, rent Alien and E.T. and enjoy some original sci-fi suspense and ac- tion.

in writing a textbook. s

A textbook is like a long essay that would

take you at least 1,500 hours to write.

That's the equivalent of researching and

writing eight hours a day, five days a

week, starting in September and

continuing, without a holiday, until the end of the school year.

ILINTE"OGIEsIN IDIPSLEAs SIiBIRWICGiasS

And then consider not getting paid for it.

While your book makes a contribution to

education, as an author, your reward also

‘depends on your book being bought.

Instead, a lot of people take advantage of

your work by photocopying it - illegally. It

makes you feel like you've been ripped off. Well, you have peen.

Pub ne Advanced Ticket Saies a Suggestion Box

Drop Off Slot

Prizes

Give Aways

Contests

Yearbook Pick Up

Cimn Hotline

Information

Place To Chit Chat Council Minutes

A Friendly Place

Handbook Distribution

- Photocopying textbooks is intellectual exploitation.

A message from the College Group of the Canadian Book Publishers’ Council and the Canadian Reprography Collective.

y, September 14, 1989 ===

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