university again. The one that isn't stuck somewhere in 1993.

Could I please have a show of hands of how many people would like to beat the snot out of whoever came up with those "I'm lovin' it" MacDonald's commercials? Seriously, what the hell does some old guy in leopard underpants and exploding amplifiers have to do with hamburgers and fries? Quite a lot, apparently. And Justin Timberlake. Has he finally sold his soul to the MacDonald's empire? Whatever happened to N*Sync team- ing up with Burger King? Damn you Justin. Damn you. You've ruined the integrity of the pop music world forev- er.

Has anyone else seen this MacQueen's Bike Shop new fitness program entitled "Sweat Shop"? That doesn't seem like a bit of insensitivity on their part does it? I guess it's not like children in foreign countries are forced to produce some of their prod- ucts. No wait...it is. Good call MacQueen's.

Welcome to the PEI SWAT team! It's about time we had a force to. stand up to that fishing mob that is always trying to bring in their ‘ crazy' ideas to preserve fish stocks. Now I realize that the police were brought in to serve a court order. But 100 RCMP docked out in riot gear? With 9mm rifles? You gotta love PEI.

Sources inform me that Sarah Fraser has been cut from the cast of Canada Now and will be leaving her anchoring duties later on this month. You know, I hate to see her go, but I always had a hard time figuring out if she had any idea what she was talking ~ about ever since they reported on the

= Cass Rhynes case: "he communicated = with them over some sort of internet © system called ‘MSN'." No more igno-

° - Poor Mike Keenan, fired this = week from the head coaching position = for the Florida Panthers. Why the hell = does south Florida have a hockey team = anyway? Personally, I don't really

. think Keenan was their problem any- S way. Their problem is that their GM is 2 a moron. As a side note, the Florida me Panthers were shut out in their first

~ game without Keenan. I say: good job

N

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getting to the source of your problem. Idiots. Farewell Mike. See you in Washington?

And finally, happy retirement to the big man in Ottawa, Jean Chretien. For the past ten years, the lit-

tle guy from Shawinigan has warmed

our hearts, made us laugh or maybe cry and emptied our pockets along the way. But, all in all, he didn't do that bad of a job of running this great

country of ours. And while Dubya was choking on pretzels south of the bor- der, our good old Jean was choking his own protesters. Then there's his wife, Aline, who, when an intruder broke into the Prime Ministerial fortress at 24 Sussex Drive, was poised with an inuit statue, ready to beat the shit out of whatever or whomever came barg- ing through the door. Truly a first fam- ily that we can be proud of.

Well, I guess my time is up, as the library is performing its ultra-pro- fessional method of telling people that they are closing; by flicking on and off the lights. I better get out of here before Mr. Security gets here and tells me to move along.

Have a good one!

ryangallant@hotmail.com