— page 8 — The Netted Gem ‘ ' . mg 10, 1985 >

By Kaberi Dasgnpta HOW is university? How IS university? How is UNIVERSITY?

Do you realize that by using emphasis in various places and pausing at dif— ferent times, a full thous‘and versions of this question can be asked?

Incredible question — the former one, that is.

Picture this. During the holidays, you are compelled by a sense of duty, or your parents, to visit various acquaintances. Inevitably you must subject yourself to the torture of tortures — small talk.

Of course, you are left with the one person in the room who cannot even bore you with anecdotes about how he spent his holidays thus far. Born leader that you are, you decide that you shall take the offensive in this conversation.

“What is you name? Where do you live? Here? Oh, sorry. Do you go to school?-Do you have a job? Do you have any brothers or sisters? What are their names? Do they go to school? Do they have jobs? ....”

Of course, he does not

Return of Fresh Point of View

even try to make the situation a little more bearable. He cannot expand the question “What is your name?” into a philosophical dissertation on the signiﬁcance of a name. Instead, he comes out with answers like, “Tom”.

You manage to remember one of your wonderful stories, a story which never fails to bring a smile to the listener’s lips. But while you are telling the story, you become very preoccupied with the ﬂower arrangement in the corner of the room.

For some reason, the story loses its ﬁre, and instead of a smile, there is a very puzzled look on Tom’s face.

Your throat begins to dry, your mind begins to cave in. The room becomes hazy. Exaspterated, you blindly try to think of a question to ask.

Then you grab yourself. You take control of yourself. You look at Tom straight in the ey, as if to say, “Now it is

begins to look defeated when he realizes that he already knows your name, age, social insurance number, school Oh!

Suddenly a gleam enters his eyes, and instead of remark- ing on the condition of the atmosphere, he asks, “H0w is university?”

By now, everyone else in the room has run out of things to say, so all eyes are centred on you. You are tempted to dismiss the ques- tion with a curt “Fine”, but just as you are about to do so, you see the other members of the family looking be-

. seechingly at you, in desperate

need of respite.

You straighten your shoulders. You raise your chin. Yo go into a point-by- point description of your professors, your friends, your friends’ professors, the campus, the buildings, the rooms

“What are you planning to

soon ends. Your parents can now try to brag about you. Of course, Tom’s parents must now also brag about Tom. It is amazing how the conversation block disappears.

Financial Aid

By Dawna Noonan

There are just two award programs I would like to bring to your attention this week: the Soroptimist Foun- dation of Canada and the Terry Fox Humanitarian Award Program.

The Soroptimist Founda- tion of Canada offers several $5000 grants annually to female student to assist them with university studies that lead to careers of service to women by improving the quality of their lives. Judging is based on potential ben. it of course of study to a can ‘I assisting other women, ﬁnan- cial need, and academic achievement and personal re- ferences. The award is open to women’ in a graduate program or in the ﬁnal year

Still, you are left with Tom, Tom the victorious. However, just as Tom begins

to pull out his Trivial Pursuit game, you spy some gift-

of a four.year undergraduate program. Deadline: January 3lst.

Under the Terry Fox Humanitarian Award Pro- gram successful candidates can receive $3000 annually to a maximum of four years, or until a first degree is obtained. Applicants are

T HE WHOLE NU‘I‘TY EPISODE Y MIND :‘1‘ at

REALLY BLEW M

wrapping paper in the waste- paper basket and take your revenge.

“Tom, how was your Christmas?”

selected on the basis of citi- zenship and humanitarian service while in pursuit of excellence in academic, amateur sport, ﬁtness, health, community service and re- lated endeavours. Applica- tions should be received in the Registrar’s office by January 10th.

//

Yes the Netted Gem wants people and lots of them to do any- thing from writing to graphics to photography —— ,even giving us

some fresh ideas for news and features.

So if you have any ideas for news or even if you don’t and just want to kill some time this semester, come on up to the Netted Gem (4th floor Main) on Monday for the meeting at 6:00 pm. or help out with layout on Tuesday. It’s very creative, takes no special training

and there’s FREE PIZZA for all helpers.

yourturn.” become?” asks Tom’s Poor Tom. He looks at mother. you frantically, trying des- You then describe your perately to think of away to ambitions, your dreams, kill the embarrassing pause which appear quite incon- that has managed to creep sequential at the time. into the conversation.- He Fortunately, the ordeal @ i \ . U -.‘ l ( ‘b-d A l. 7.

e r\ “i l/ "i ll ,

WE WANTYOU!

..-.-[!herefs.nolifalik6-itl .....

U+th Mullet

Extra! Wanted: one production manager for the newspaper, for this semester only. Salary: $40 per issue. Duties: must be willing to work with a Wednesday deadline (meaning long hours Tuesday afternoon and night). ' 7 — must design and coordinate layouts for the Gem, including

the organization of layout staff.

—'— must be familiar with or able to grasp rudiments of design

such as balance, consistency, and attractiveness. — some familiarity with photography is an asset. — must be responsible and willing to work. '

office.

.-, . . . . . _ . . .- ..,,.._-_<.

P.S. It can be fun too. Apply by January ° at the Studentunion

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