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Fact and Opinion continued from page 24

opponent is for losers.

FACT: The telephone’s patent number is 174 465. OPINION: Alexander Grahm Bell invented the phone so people wouldn’t have to

| look at each other

' during sex.

FACT: The typical person goes to the bathroom 6 times a day.

OPINION: Cool people don’t go to the bathroom.

FACT: There are 17 steps leading up to Sherlock Holme’s apartment. OPINION: That is the same distance Holme’s restraining

| order says he has to

stay away from elementary schools.

FACT: Anthony Robbin’s infomercial

.| airs every half hour,

24 hours a day somewhere in the

USA.

OPINION: The Dukes of Hazzard airs every half hour on TNN.

FACT: When a horned toad is angry, it squirts blood from it’s eyes.

OPINION: | do the same thing when I get aroused.

FACT: The first Lifesaver flavor was peppermint. OPINION: The second was asparagus.

FACT: The typical American eats 263 eggs a year.

Eggs are highin Vitamin A, protein, and bits of - baby chickens.

FACT: The ballpoint pen was invented in 1938 by Laszlo and Georg Biro. OPINION: Before the ballpoint pen, people used to chew on their scribblers

2a THAT'S ee

XXX

100’s of movies

new to the Island

corner of Mount Edward Rd. & Belvedere Ave.

when they got bored in class.

FACT: The fastest growing nail is on the middle finger. OPINION: It just looks that way because you're so used to people showing it

to you, asshole.

FACT: The parking meter was invented by C.C. Magee in

SUS aT ts that way

We TA Ge so used to

people showing it you, asshole.

1935.

OPINION: How do they determine the value of parking for an hour? What the heck are you paying for? If parking meters gave gumballs after you puta quarter in them, it would make sense. Until then, I’m going to have to eat the gum offthe sidewalk to get my money’s worth.

FACT: In 1961, an IBM 7090 computer calculated Pi to 100 265 digits.

OPINION: I don’t care about calculating

is pretty good at finding pictures of doctors performing illegal surgeries.

FACT: The human body weighs forty times more than the brain.

OPINION: Fat people

have huge brains.

FACT: A fter eating too much, your hearing is less sharp.

OPINION: Eating at an Iron Maiden show will make you completely deaf.

FACT: A person swallows approximately 295 times while eating dinner.

OPINION: If my mom ’s cooking, a person throws up more than they swallow.

FACT: The oldest known vegetable is the pea.

OPINION: Young vegetables collect Pokemon trading cards.

FACT: Jack is the most common name in nursery rhymes. OPINION: It’s also a common name in pornographic films.

FACT: The avocado has the most calories ofany fruit. OPINION: It has so many calories that one bite could make your head explode.