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By Robert Bodrog-Goodland

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You say you're poor.

_____._ ‘ And that's not fair, ‘63:}? fig Well I'm middle class, 27,) * A - . . t » 6 And I don‘t care. . 1985 marks the 3001h Anniversary of the birth 0 _ r . ‘ ~ Myfriends are fools, one of the greatest musical geniuses of all time: ‘ I ,. 5 .. . v A " , (Like don’t it show?) Johann Sebastian Bach. This past summer at th ,_ I ' H. ' ‘ But I'm middle class Archives of the British National Museum in London, ‘ ' And they're all I know. several authentic Bach manuscripts, thought to have A v if. . ~ Omhe we'ekends been lost, were rediscovered by accident, producing .. -’ 7 J What do I do? ' almost six hours of music in total that hadn't been r V ' .‘ e ~ _. puke on my Sho‘es. performed since the eighteenth century. ‘ " - ‘ Daddy does it mommy too, And now CBC Enterprises is poud to offer thes ‘ 1 _ ‘1 r ' - M Werre sucha'bnchen privnedgedfew' new-found treasures, updated for the 1980’s as part of " e r , l ,, ‘ ‘ ' I its new 88-5000 Series, entitled “Techno-Bach Gold”. ‘ V ._ ’ , , ‘ -- ' ‘ l 35k the Old manr he wmes me 3 Check ‘ - _ . ‘ ' g ' ‘ He shugs his arms, says “What the heck"; You’ll Get: “Bach in the U.S.S.R. ” , "t V r ‘ So I've always got tons of cash, "Bach m yourArmSAgam” . v .j~ ‘ ~ " r . And enough left over to buy some Hash. “GerBach” v . ' Hot damn. I Lead sheltered life, “Baby Come Bach ’0 Me” . . . ' - Protected from external strife, AM [’19 Imp/Fallow] “BWNde'Ibe’g Rap” And I'll never have to make it in the real world, All complied like never Before! With daddy catching whatever life hurls. Jlmwnd “4'95 [0' And it don‘t matter that I’m intellectually numb. Techno-Bach Gold , 4 . - Because you don t neet, to be smart ( [0 CBC Emerpmes When you're a bourge0ls scum P. O. Box 500, Toror n. Ontario - 9 ‘ M5 W IE6 @

JOHAN N SEBASTIAN BACl-l

dis. CBC Stereo

Brought to you by the CBC —— The only crown corporation that broadcasts in Stereo.

"This is the story of a typical bourgeois scum He had everything — but he never realized how lucky he was

Then he met her.

They hung out together They ate lunch together They did stuff together Then she left him. But it didn’t matter, because he found a girl that reminded him or her. The British Broadcasting Corporation, in co-operation with Broken Heart Productions presents: '

“I loved you Patty, until ' I found Pamela”

starring

Bob Geldoi Goldie Hawn and iniroducting Madonna as Pamela

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nimaaatamac?

Don’t miss this poignant tale of melancholy, misunderstanding, and Madonna gecehtly' confessed She was precocious at _

y' birth. “Do you know how hard it is to French-kiss with ' Pablum all over your face?” the sultry singer sighed. a She claims that her primal yearnings became evident at the age of 3 1/2 weeks and have increased ever since. During Kindgergarten she acquired a Rolling Stones ' ’ album and “Satisfaction” became her main agnbition in life. Although she tries to keep her uncontrollable urges under wraps as much as possible, she has been known to

middle—class trauma.

Rated — LW (long-winded) — Kinda like John Stuart Mill’s . autobiography, but not as hard to i; understand as Immanuel Kant’s “Groundwork do the Metaphsics ofMorals” '

appear a little sex-starved on occasion.

“I loved you Patty, until gl found Pamela”

Coming into your life sometime this Fal/