The Idiot's Guide to Academia (Part 1: 100-50)

100. All things in modera- tion, including moderation 99. Just because Vince Carter gives you a hard-

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on, that doesn’t make you gay. 98. Professors, the mean- spirited ones, (see Busi- ness, Nursing etc.) ought to be beaten with their own limbs. 97. All things considered, the cover, Sarah’s feature and Heather’s porn history, you would have to call this our SEX issue. But I’m not trying to tell you what to think. 96. The only true elo- quence is in shutting the fuck up. 95. Iam not truly eloquent. 94. At night, if the wind is blowing right you can spit from one side of Main Building to the other. 93. If you can’t find something interesting to learn in class, find some- one interesting to look at. 92. I have never had a teacher teach me anything significant which I did not already know. 91. The best teachers are those that help you learn about yourself. 90. The worst teachers are the ones convinced that their lives are subject matter worth learning about. 89. The best professors I have had at this school are JJ Revell, Brendan O’ Grady, Frank Ledwell, Roberta MacDonald, Elizabeth Epperly and David Weale. 88. The worst professors I have had at this school are Brian Jones, Colman O’Hare, Tim Carroll, Miam Ali and David Weale. 87. The best records of the 1990’s are: Love Tara (Eric’s Trip), Check Your Head, Ill Communication, Hello Nasty (Beastie Boys) OK Computer (Radiohead), Other Songs, Wherabouts (Ron Sexsmith), Live 1966, Time Out Of Mind (Bob Dylan), Black Love (Afghan Whigs), Trouble at the Henhouse, Day For Night, Phantom Power (The Tragically Hip), Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde (The Pharcyde) Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain, Terror

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