The terrible travails
of
Yella Belli and Clyde
By Nils Connor The two rather inept adventurers continued on ‘their way, exiting the room of thewn stone, running a north- ‘south direction forty feet by twenty feet without even lexamining the contents of the treasure chest they had noticed. i “Hey,” saidwClyde, ' “we forgot to exan‘tine the con- tents of the treasure chest.” “Yes”, agreed Yella Belli. “We really should take a look.” ' “Yes,” agreed Yella Belli. “Do you think we ought to find out about that treasure chest?” asked Clyde.
By Ed Orlowksi
The Broom Klositeers all their bristles, mop—
soapy shoulders, rippy buckets to two fine umanf. beings .who have elped make the
of 'plant slips, ower pots, potting soil, couragement, and willing- ess to help the Klositeers. The H.M.U.P.E.I.C.M.B. E.F.E.F.A.M. Award (from 0w on referred to as “Help ake U.P.E.I. campus more *autiful in eighty—four, 'ghty-five and more) goes to lphabetically listed) our room klosit relatives:
Honorary Uncle Pat oyle .. Of the beautiful, uffy Science Building for is plant slips, topsoil, and
“Yes,” agreed Yella Belli, in a rather unoriginal manner.
(Okay. I’m glad you agree," said Clyde. “Go ahea .”
“What? How dare you! Oh sure, I know that I’m the warrior around here but that doesn’t mean that I have to face all the danger,” began Yella idignantly. “Just you tell me who it was that was the object of lewd proposi- tions from the orc patrol. Suppose you tell me who it was who faced the peril while you tried that ridiculous Hot Dog spell back there in the room of hewn stone running in a north-south direction, twenty feet by forty feet,
flower pots.
Honorary Aunt Alice Edwards of the fabulous Main Building, who runs the campus-famous ‘green room’ whose contribution was an
x)armful of exotic slips to _the_,,
Kleaner for the enjoyment of the Klositeers.
In the survey taken last week, thanks to these kind people, the Cass Chemistry Building is now number three on U.P.E.I.’s campus for beautification effort in Eighty-Four.
The highest award that the U.P.E.I. Klositeers give out is the “THANK YOU AWARD”.
.... .. and for the 84 Season have been awarded to Uncle Pat Doyle and Aunt Alice Edwards Kindest thanks to both of you.
huh? You tell me!”
“Not twenty by forty feet, forty feet by twenty feet,” corrected Clyde.
“Oh, sorry.”
“Anyway, we’ll both go back”.
The adventures turned back and entered a room of hewn stone, running in a north-south direction, forty feet by twenty feet, and made
'their way to the treasure
chest. The chest was locked. The closing mechanism had been activated. To open the chest a key‘ would be neces- sary.
“ e chest is locked,” stated Yella with absolute correctness.
Kleaner’s Klosit
Too, they are now honorary members of the Kleaner’s Campus Cubby- hole Club Guild numbers 84 and 85 respectively. Con- gratulations for helping to
[make the Cass Chemistry
Building look more beautiful. The broom Klosit only has one Broomette graduating in the 84 season, and that is Swivel hips sizzling Sal with a three-prong receptical spiri- cal will graduate with a Bachelorette of Sink Sciences for dainty do do’s. Congratulations Ms. Swivel hips Sizzling Sal with
a three-prong receptical spirical. Have a nice summer, everyone.
“The closing mechanism has been activited,” said Clyde with poor pronoun- ciation.
“To open the chest, a key
will be necessary, ” said Yella. ‘ ‘Wrong! Hahahahaha! ’ ’
exclaimed Clyde with delight as he jumped up and down like a small child on Christ- mas morning, making a total fool of himself.
Yella quickly glanced about to ascertain that no- one had noticed this display.
“I can magic it open!” said Clyde. “Stand back”.
Yell was only to glad to oblige. Clyde began to rock back and forth as he chanted in a low voice. The incantation ran: '
Please, please, please, Let this spell work.
I have to save face somehow
After that puppy trick.
To the immense surprise of both Yella and this author, the chest opened. Inside there was a large collection of
almost worthless copper pieces and a small gold amulet. Instantly, like the
good friends they were, Clyde and Yella began to argue over the amulet.
After two hours, a bloody nose for Clyde and a singed beard for Yella, they came to an agreement that they both failed to e satisfied with.
They looked closely at the amulet. They gave the amulet an intense scrutiny. The amulet was studied by them.
The result of this was not evident to anyone sane. They continued in this manner. They went on as they had They carried on with what they were doing. Still the result was not evident to any- one sane nor the many of the insane.
Something exasperating, frustrating, exciting, - or mildly interesting, failed to occur. This accomplished nothing. The two adventurers stopped what they were doing. They ceased in that activity. They did not con- tinue their action.
Just as Yella was preparing to put the amulet in his leather backpack along with several hundred almost
’ worthless copper pieces, there
sounded forth, in tones not unlike someone yelling at you from the other end of the Sistine Chapel early one Friday morning, a voice.
“Ha ha ha ha! You fools!” said the voice, in a rather unnerving fashion.
“What did you hissed Clyde.
“Nothing, I hope,” said Yella.
Just then, with a horrible thunderclap and a lot of billowing smoke there ap~ peared before the adven- turers, a ghastly demon. It stood nine feet tall, had horrible short stumpy legs, with claws on the feet. Instead of arms it had large batlike wings terminating in a sort of hand with long tapering fingers. The face of the beast was terrible to
do?”
behold. It looked like the face of Michael Jackson, after everything that should be done to it, had been.
“One your knees, ver- min!” bellowed the demon.
“Do you think he means us?” asked Clyde.
“Yeah, I think 50,” said Yella Belli.
‘. “Oh, no.”
The two made a break for the door. With a horrible laugh. and a flap of the bat like wings the demon lept to interpose himself between the two adventurers and their
only hope of escape. “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! !” laughed the
demon in, not surprisingly, a demonic voice.
“Odin! Crom! Osiris Zeus!” cried Yella.
“Mars! Cthluthu! Va- sahnka! Brahma!” joined in Clyde.
“STOP STOP STOP
STOP!” yelled the demon. “Don’t you realize how dangerous it is to go about calling out the names of gods? Suppose I went an yelled out the name of my God, Morningbreth and he...”
There was a large clap of thunder and the entire room of hewn stone running in a north south direction forty feet by twenty feet was engulfed in flames. When the flames subsided the advenr
turers somehow managed to notice the looming, eighteen foot tall, green figure of, Morningbreth,
God of Demons.
The Netted Gem
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