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Music is a business that has constantly been tampered with by fans and musicians. I feel sorry for all those record label bigwigs who are unable to feed their families because teenagers keep stealing money out of their pockets by shar- ing songs on their electronic type- writer devices. Yes, I am speaking of the evils of Napster, the latest technology that prevents fine upstanding record companies from making an honest buck.

Now I don’t claim to know how this device works, and I could care less what a Metallica is, but I’m well aware of how greedy music fans are to muck up the busi-

the first player-piano was invented the sheet music industry as we know it was almost wiped out

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ness of music. I remember when

because people no longer had to play music for themselves to enjoy it. My grandfather who owned his own printing press had to sell my uncle to a wealthy slave owner just to make ends meet.

I remember when Thomas Edison’s phonograph was _ first

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alike complained that if people had access to music on a disc, then they would never go to concerts again. For about 20 years everybody stayed inside their homes and lis- tened to the latest records by The Gay Lords and the Fantastic Lads. Those were the good old days when white people controlled music. The sacredness of the fami- ly was maintained thanks to the soothing sounds of a gramophone. There was no dancing with loose women or drinking. And all was well in the Dominion of Canada. That is until a young punk with glasses started gyrating his hips and singing about Peggy Sue at roller rinks and burger stands. Then a whole generation of hea- thens in leather slacks started going to rock concerts, growing their hair, and holding drag races in front of the Legion. And this sort of behav-

My kind of computer.

ior spread across the country no thanks to the Satanic squawk box known as AM radio.

Record labels warned us all about the dangers of radio. They said that radio would mean that they would no longer be able to sell phonographs because everybody could hear music for free, and as a result disgusting Commie ideas like sharing were spread by Beatniks. Radio was the end of our country’s innocense.

It’s no surprise to me that those scientists, like the Dr Dre, have developed new technology that allows people to listen to music whenever they want without paying the. record companies a dime. Science has always been the enemy

of the honest, decent, Christian val- ues that record companies repre- sent.

If people start listening to music for free, they will be left vul- nerable loading down songs while the conniving thugs at Napster will be trying to steal our automobiles - just like they’re stealing money from record labels. Don’t think they won’t. If you’re like most fools who are already trapped in this scheme, I’m sure you probably

-have an AM radio in your car.

Not me. I ride a bicycle equipped with a phonograph, so I can listen to wholesome gospel music on my way to work.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Casey Kasem.

By Skutch Trudeau

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