The Cadre + 26 January 1999

For a few laughs:

Unpopular Children’s Books:

You Were an Accident Strangers Have the Best Candy The Little Sissy Who Snitched Some Kittens Can Fly! Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

The Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s Book of Wild Animals of North Ameri Hey! Let’s Go Ride Our Bikes!

THE KIDS’ GUIDE TO HITCHHIKING

Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog? BI-CURIOUS GEORGE

Daddy Drinks Because Of You You Are Different and That's Bad

Explring the Mall on Your Ou!

Hamimers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An | Can Do It Book

THE MAGIC WORLD INSIDE THE ABANDONED REFRIGERATOR

The Bad Doctor Animals That Will Kill You Foraging for the Household Chemical Connoisseur RuUReynolde Explodes the Mythe Around Tobscoo Smoking The Little Girl that was Forgotten About Your Nightmares Are Real

Pet Torture

; Awkward, Pimply and Depressed: OO ter one” eet teen 10 ft

Opportunities in the Sweatshop Industry

Dad’s Drunk for Christmas Whiskers Goes To Prison

Campus 19

“The Law of Self Sacrifice

Pe iain led

Natural Laws

“The Law of Volunteering” If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

“The Law of Avoiding Oversell” When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

“The Law of Common Sense” Never accept a drink from a urologist.

When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

“The Law of Motivation” Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. “B i ’s Law” You always find something in the last place you look.

“Weiler’s Law” Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.

“Law of Probable Dispersal” Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

“Law of Volunteer Labor” People are always available for work in the past tense.

“Conway's Law” In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

“Iron Law of Distribution” Them that has, gets.

“Law of Cybernetic Entomology” There is always one more bug.

“Law of Drunkedness” You can’t fall off the floor.

“Heller's Law” The first myth of management is that it exists.

“Osborne’s Law” Variables won't; constants aren’t. “Main’s Law” For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

“Weinberg’s Second Law” If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed