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"No", she screamed as she slapped me across the face.

- " (brol-ol Mc—Kin—non", I spoke softly, pausing between every. syllable. "Since you don't want to help clear the table, you can stay and kelp set up tl'e entire dining roan." "No!" I ‘ "Carol, I don't like punishing you, but you dai't hit people when you're angry. You talk to them." "NO: m!" -

_ "Carol, you’ re staying to help clear the dining roan. Go get your pail and cloth. "

Since Carol realized slre was fighting a never elding battle, she quietly got up and went to get the necessary equiptent to clean tie tables.

Carol is a nineteen year old girl—child with a camon abnormality - or so it's stated. It's called mental retardation and, in her case, a specific title - 'Down's Syn- drate' . Carol has been institutionalized for fourteen of her nineteen years. Her par— ents didn't want her at home. 'Ihey were getting on in years and the 'diseased' child — sent to them by God for punishment - wasn't accepted by then or tl'e community.

Carol spelt her early years in a childrens' unit until she reached tlre age of six- teen. Sle was then classified as a 'Trainable 111' and, tlrerefore, rehabilitation mat- erial. [She was toilet trained — an important aspect for rehab. — trick moderate care of herself, and had a large vocabulary, but rarely communicated with other individuals. ‘

It was there on Rehab that I first met Carol. Our first encounter took place when my supervisor asked me to find Carol and escort her to school. She was sitting in the locker roan, directly across from the mirror, banging her head against the wall.

"Carol, you bad girl, you're supposed to be in school. you naughty girl. You go to your room", she kept repeating, before I had even spoken She quietly got up and walked to school. Not with me, ibut four or five yards ahead of me. She neitler answer- ed any of my questions nor looked at me directly. Carol's concentration span at this time was less than thirty seconds when dealing with another individual.

As time went on, I grew very close to this young girl. She acted, always, as if I was non-existent. In her world - I was.

Prior to Carol's institutionalization, she spent most of her time at' home locked in her room. She developed an acute imagination and a strong attachment to her image in the mirror. She was driven in a car to the institution by lrer parents. fear of any vehicle. A vehicle to her meant banishment of her basic essential needs.

She spent thirteen years at Nbuntain Side without ever leaving the premises.

At the end of t‘re first summer that I worked with her, with the doctor's permission and two tablets of valium, we took Carol for her first car. ride in thirteei years. Similar to most mongoloids, Carol loved food. Iogically then, we took her to MacDonald's. 'Ihe entire trip she kept repeating, "When we going back. Want to go home." Carol had her first Big Mac, chocolate shake, and french fries in the peaceful sanctuary of her

room. It was always difficult to attract Carol's attention so, after many failures of dif— ferent methods, I found one that succeeded. When Carol was watching a program on television, I threw a pillow at her. She ignored me. I threw another. She ignored me again. I threw another. .She threw it back at me and we had a full fledged pillow fight. Carol smiled and laughed. When the realization came to her that she'd broken a barrier - stepped out of her 'world' — she abruptly turned around and resumed watching television - face expressionless. ‘ ' My summer employment was terminated in August and I returned to school. Carol Mc;Kin— non was frequently on my mind. ’ The second summer I worked with Carol she had improved considerably. (he thing that real— ly surprised me was that, after nine months, slre had remembered not just me, but, my first] and last name. 'Ihe little girl who had never called me by name - never spoken to me di- rectly - lmew me. Carol's concentration span had increased to fiftee'l minutes and some- times longer with different activities. She was a member of a square dancing class, shopped downtown and attended various other facilities provided for the mentally and physic—

ally‘handicapped Carol was friendly with the staff now, but still rarely associated with Ier fellow

residents. _

I took Carol downtown to shop one day at Eatons and, after an hour, she was extremely tired and cranky. We had to walk up two flights of stairs before we reached the woman's department. In tlre middle of the second flight of stairs, Carol let out a loud scream. I screamed. She was shocked and continued walking up the stairs. We had a peaceful trip from then on. ' .

We grew closer as the summer went on, however not close enough for Carol to allow me into her 'world' . We devised a little game. In layman's terms — reversal of roles. "Carol, I don't want to clear the tables", I'd say. She'd pat me on tl'e rear and in a truly com-5 manding voice tell me how bad I was and that, if I failed to do what I was told, I'd be

unished. V A o p By t‘re time the summer came to a close, Carol asked me for help in certain things like '= , washing and curling her hair, to take her to the Dairy Queen and other such activities.

()1 my last day of work, I searched for Carol and could not locate her. I didn't get a chance to say good-bye.

I received a letter a few weeks ago from a young handicapped boy I had also worked with.

He informed me that Carol is now living in a' group home in town. My littlegirl has grown.

My heart will always be with her.

She developed a ‘

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