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FACT: AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. OPINION: I think AIDS gets more publicity than other sexually transmitted diseases because it has a cool name. You don’t see many celebrities wearing ribbons for crabs.

FACT: AIDS is the advanced stage of the disease caused by a virus called HIV. a OPINION: HIV leads to AIDS like Guns N Roses lead to Slash’s Snake Pit.

FACT: HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. OPINION: That’s a funny name for the largest record store in the world.

FACT: The virus attacks and dam- ages the body’s immune and nerv- ous systems.

OPINION: In theory, the immune system should. probably — be immune. But crazy things like that only exist in comic books and rap music.

FACT: Everyone can be affected by HIV/AIDS: Male, female, young, and old.

OPINION: By now it’s safe to say that AIDS is bigger than Hulk-a- ‘mania.

FACT: There is no cure for the HIV infection yet.

OPINION: Some people say that laughter is the best medicine, but I bet those people never heard of crab shampoo.

FACT: Prevention is still our only defence.

OPINION: I don’t fully trust pre- vention. Try using prevention to defend yourself from hungry Olverines. Nunchakus are my est defence.

ACT: You can get infected by aving unprotected vaginal and/or

anal sex with someone already infected.

OPINION: Is unprotected sex like when you’re touching pissers in a car, but you’re not wearing a seat- belt? If that’s the case, then I’m safe.

FACT: You can get infected by sharing needles for injecting drugs like cocaine, heroin or steroids with someone already infected. OPINION: I’ve never been one to share stuff anyway. As a child I’d never let anyone else play with my GI Joes, especially not the neigh- bourhood crack whore.

FACT: You can get infected by receiving infected blood or blood products (Since November 1985 all blood and blood products are tested for HIV antibod- ies in Canada). OPINION: Like our beer, Canada’s blood is HIV-free.

&

FACT: You can

get infected dur- The AIDS Edition

ing pregnancy, at

birth or through

breastfeeding. An infected mother can pass the virus to her child. OPINION: The only thing my mother passed on to me was a hairy chest.

FACT: You can’t get infected by casual, everyday contact. OPINION: But if you’re casual, everyday contact involves teasing grizzly bears, you may run into other problems.

FACT: You can’t get infected by shaking hands.

OPINION: Just make sure that you don’t accidentally shake some- thing else.

FACT: You can’t get infected by hugging, kissing.

o = he a

OPINION: So give me some sugar whenever you see me, toots.

FACT: You can’t get infected by coughing, sneezing.

OPINION: But you _ should NEVER cough or sneeze in public anyway. That’s just gross.

FACT: You can’t get infected by giving blood.

OPINION: However, it is prefer- able that you donate blood through a clinic rather than just spraying it at people on the street.

FACT: You can’t get infected by using swimming pools, toilet seats. OPINION: That’s good, because I like to go diving for toilet seats down at the old swimming hole.

FACT: You can’t get infected by sharing bed linen, eating utensils, or food. OPINION: Thank god. I’m always lending out my bed linen, eating utensils, and food to strangers.

FACT: You can’t get infected by mosquitos and other insects, ani- mals.

OPINION: But if you insist on having on protected sex with a mosquito, there is a chance that you may get bit.

FACT: You can protect yourself with abstinence.

OPINION: Recommending absti- nence is like telling tennis players the safest way to play tennis is by not using your balls.

FACT: Safer sex activities prevent contact with semen, vaginal fluids or blood. Talk to your partner about

_ safer sex before having sex.

OPINION: During sex, talk to your partner about teenage heart- throbs Hanson.

FACT: Use latex condoms correct- ly every time you have sex.

OPINION: The incorrect way to wear a latex condom can perma- nently damage your sense of smell.

FACT: Use only water-based lubricants. Oil-based lubricants such as petroleum jelly should never be used because they may weaken the condom and cause it to break. |

OPINION: Do not use glue.

FACT: Don’t share needles if you are injecting drugs.

OPINION: It’s okay to share nee- dles when you’re sewing, except with Hazel.

FACT: You can be tested for HIV on PEI by any Island physician. OPINION: Island physicians typi- cally wear lab coats and work in hospitals. Do not give urine sam- ples to that guy on Queen Street no matter what he tells you.

FACT: After infection, people may not feel or look sick for years. However, they can still pass HIV to others.

OPINION: Even the healthiest person is bound to look or feel sick every once in a while. Except Richard Simmons, who always looks like he’s prepared to do rig- orous exercises at the drop of a hat.

FACT: The people at AIDS PEI Community Support Group asked me to write the AIDS edition of “Fact & Opinion” to promote awareness of the disease. OPINION: If you are offended by this, complain to them November 29th at the Barn. But if you think AIDS is funny, November 29 at the Barn is going to be hilarious.