.Psycholltf‘

Hee! Hee! Hee! Ha! Ha! Hal, Haaaaa _ Welcome once again to my weekly column. Schitzee (S-K-I-T-Z-E-E) is the name and psychopathology is the game.

Ha ha ha ha haaaaaa.

Psychopathology means don’t look before you leap —— in other words, it’s one who follows someone else’s nutty life-

style.

I believe I was talking last week about how I invented tho

tho — t + X = T Burrrp ... those little monsters.

I just had a ﬁt of indigestion

Rumour has it or I take it thateveryone knows that beavers use their tails to slap the water in the event of danger, right?

WRONG! Those . ..

slim devils use their tails as a built—in counter-

weight balance so that they can stagger home in a straight line. And not only that, but when the beaver gets home, he or she has a party and used the tail as a serving tray for beer. Sigh. How they have e volved. _ You have to watch it when one of tho tho (sigh of

relief) those little runts goes schizoid.

uncontrollable fits.

If you’re standing near one and it goes schizoid, LOOK _

OUT. '

(Schizoid means

It rolls around your feet in somersaults and at the same time grunts and snorts some kind of Pig Latin.

Then without warning the little monster jumps your head height ,(how low can you get), twists its body, and swings its tail — SMACK — right across the face.

After regaining conscious- ness, if your shoes are still intact, you are in no imme- diate danger. .

But, if you are wearing running shoes, BEWARE! The little runt goes snaky when it smells the foot fetish aroma of rubber.

The Arbian Skunk (my pet

name) literally gnaws th_e sweaty rubber soles off your feet. . Not only that, but it will put the rubber shavings under its pillow at night for good luck.

I’m not superstitious, they

t

are.

When you are sprinting away whatever footwear you have left, the little monster

will sit back on its tail and.

cry like a big baby, saying that it wants to play some more.

Isn’t that a sign of Frued’s regressional‘state??

Correct me if I’m wrong; hah hah hah. -

Next week I will tell you how this li lit litt =TI§@IX!!! ' little in— famous runt got on the famous 5. cent piece.

Patriotic or what!

Child suffers from name

By Derrick Webber

Once apon a time, long. long ago, there was a little girl named ‘Get me the He‘.‘ out ofthis’.

Now, she was the first to admit that her name was a bit unusual but Get Me The Hell Out Of This liked it and didn’t want it changed at all.

Admittedly she was a bit strange.

She owed her strange name to her father, Get Me The

(who was of SlaVlC descent)\ and the family name was simply This.

Her father married a nice girl form a tr‘wn down the way \\ ho was called Out (her last n me was Andabout but I’ll st3cr clear of thaf story) and their first child they decided they‘d name after the fathe regs Liess ofsex.

And so it ‘« as that Get Me The Hell Out Of This was named. The part ‘Hell Out Of’ is her middle name, in honour of a great grand- mother on Lhe' mother‘s ’side.

You can just imagine the problems, poor Get Me The

...r w

Hell Out Of This had in school. On the first day the teacher made everyone say their name out loud to the class and when it got to be our heroine’s turn the teacher made Get Me The‘Hell Out Of This stand in the corner for saying such filth. ‘

The problems continued as she grew up. Whenever Get Me The Hell Out Of This introduced herself the immediate reply was “What?”. Either she- was always misunderstood or people wer asking her what she wanted to get out of.

it was a very hard life.

Now, when you think about your, life —— all the hardships you have to face, the problems that it seems you were born into having, think about poor little Get Me The Hell Out Of This

and all the problems she had. \

to go through 4 the \years of pain, hardship and suffering, and it might. just might, if you are very lucky, make you feel a whole lot worse.

g ins-yam

Last Week’s Solution ' x '

4

Ha, ha, ha! Fooled you. None of those words were in'thel’puazle. How much dine did you spend trying to work it out last'week? the Nutty Gem’s speciality was perverse cruelty. ‘ Here’s the real list of words in the “Tests Have Acronyms Nowadays” Psycho Word

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