Cont. from page 13 Daddy will get mad.” This, odd as it may seem, was the father speaking. “Oooh, alwight.” little Billy with

<till-untreated speech imped-

said

his iment. His parents thought it was Soo000000 cute!

As Bob Hanna left his son’s room, somthing unde- fnable caught the corner of his eye. He spun around as fast as his incredible obe- sity would allow but there was nothing. What ever it was had disappeared. He chalked it up to imagination and thought nothing more of it. Down the stairs he walked, to watch the Eva Ga- bor film festival on the tube.

“Well, the fat fart finally frigged off!” exclaimed little Billy who was, unbeknownst to his poor foster-father, a hyper-intelligent alien sent to Earth to combat evil in the form of: SUPER BABY! He gave a little whistle to call his little pet Blip, a glob of pure energy from the Tau- epsilon star system. Blip has the unique ability of Pan- dimensional travel which ex- plains our hero’s presence on this distant planet.

As Super Baby donned his cute little red cloak and cute little booties, Blip levi- tated open the bedroom win- Then, as he had so many times before, Su- per Baby soared out of his window and into the night to defeat the evil that in- fests our cities and to pre- serve liberty, life, and the Canadian way! Of course, if that fails, there’s always the pusher down the street. He usually has some good drugs...

dow.

“Now, class,” began Pro- fessor Harris, “What you have just read is a prime ex- ample of the terrible qual- ity of reading material on

[hn the Comedy kitchen

Dont Stop me lm on. G foll—

the market today. It uses vulgarity and pseudo- science-fiction to attract an unsuspecting consumer into beleiving that it is a work of art.” He hesitated in his lec- ture just long enough to take a short gasp as the female student directly in front of him adjusted her already re- vealing skirt.

“Pornography is also of- ten used as a method of in- creasing sales. These nov- els have no story line, (an- other gasp as the skirt goes higher,) no plot, and despi- cable character development. (This time with an out-and- out stare, he gazed at her as she leaned over to pick up her pencil.) I hope you all will have enough sense to avoid these traps in your own works.”

“Class dismissed. Oh, Terri-Ann, please remain be- hind.” The nubile lovely moved over to the desk to await the professor.

“Come with me to my of- fice, please.” said the Pro- fessor. She followed him like a wounded puppy ‘as _ they left the classroom and en- tered the office. “No calls, Miss Jennings.” he said to his secretary as he passed her desk. Terri-ann followed obediently.

“My what big teeth you have!” said the girl as Harris locked the door...

— Kerry Lafferty

Crossword

by Mark Walker ACROSS 1.Seventh letter of the Greek alphabet 4.Light,sharp knock 7.Wooden stick of baseball 10.Not common 14.Sick 15.( Poetic) Before 16.Cain’s brother 17.Enemy 18.Opposite of pos. 19.Contestants 21.Bird wing action 24.(Abbr)Schutzstaffel 25.Correct 27.A + relative of tick 31.Javelin,e.g. 32.Shy

33.Seventh tone of diatonic scale

35.Provincial abbr. 36.Scene of Napoleon’s defeat

39.H.G.Well’s — of the Worlds

40.Grant’s enemy

41.Single thing

45.Present plural of to be

46.Romanian money unit

47.Aching

48.Spiral molecule of life

49.(Abbr)air to surface missile

50.Sinall amount

DOWN

1.Historical period

2.Label

3.We — the World;U.S.

song 4.Fissures

5.(French )then 6.Entreaty

7.Crooked

8.Greek god of war

9.A young sheep

13.Pachyderm

20.Spiritual;holy

21.(Abbr)Fellow of the Royal Society

22.Impudent talk

23.Time of life

26.A President’s initials

27.Astatine,abbr.

28.(Abbr)International

ST ON A ST OOD

ANSWERS jp 507

Monetary Fund 29.Sesame 30.(Abbr)Doctor of

Education 33.Family —-;record of relations 34.Small intestine part 36.To give notice 37.Region 38.Girl’s name,meaning elfin 39.Compact bundle or mass 42.To be or — to be 43.(Abbr)Irish nationalists outlawed in 1931

44.Cheers actor — Danson

KINKO the Klown - Have Any Heavy Metal Fairies Visited You Lately? — A Cluster Of Nuts

TO THE Violent dwarf— Playin’ Ravenloft this semester? - signed Us

PIPPI Long Stocking’s roomate— If the noise gets to be too much seek santuary with the book-lender — Con- cerned Citizens

THEY Travel in packs of five of six — hungry engine-

ears looking for steaks of bloody human flesh.— Anony- mous Alky

MONEY MONEY! Wanted: Intro to Comput- ers and Info. Systems for CS202. Athey,Zmud. Con- tact Iain Galloway 892-1849, or 1st floor Duffy (Engineer- ing).

LOOKING FOR “In- tro. to computers and In- formation Systems.” for CS202 contact Kelly Murphy at 566-1615(home) or 368- 5090( work) or leave message.

is

BRIAN da Biker— how’s personnel coming? is there a boeadmeeting this friday at the Tradewinds? — MCFLY

BRIAN da biker again- I will blow you away on my bike! You just wait you! - Me again...

Gidget — hows the fry business? - Mcfly

WANTED: English 251 book for McIntyre’s class call Margaret at 675-4256 after 3:30 pm.