Fact and Opinion

by Stephan MacLEOD |

FACT: Kidney disease can strike any- one at any age.

OPINION: Kidneys are known as the “terrorist” organs.

FACT: Each day, an average of 12 Canadians learn that their kidneys have failed.

OPINION: Or else they just receive an incomplete.

FACT: If kidney failure is not treated, people die within days or weeks. OPINION: If your kidneys fail, chances are snipers may already have you as a target.

FACT: In 1999, there were 23,601 Canadians on renal replacement ther- apy and this number is expected to double over the next 10 years. OPINION: Trend-spotters predict renal replacement therapy will soon be more popular than Harry Potter. FACT: Half of all new patients in

1999 were over 65 years old. OPINION: It’s hard to portray kidney disease as sexy when most of the peo- ple who have it look like sacks of flour.

FACT: The three leading causes of kidney failure in new patients are dia- betes, renal vascular disease, and glomerulonephritis.

OPINION: Kidneys fail when they don’t study enough. Try reading a book to your kidney.

FACT: The number of new patients in 1999 reached an increase of 4.7% over 1998.

OPINION: Scientists have discovered a correlation between the increase in kidney disease and more and more people getting beaten in the kidney area. ;

FACT: Canada’s organ donation rates rank among the lowest in all devel-

oped countries. —

OPINION: Why would someone give a perfectly good organ away when they could make a couple bucks off it?

FACT: The sale and purchase of organs for transplant is illegal in Canada.

OPINION: And I thought this was a free country! Next thing you know, the sale and purchase of teenage brides will be criminalized.

FACT: Of the 3,573 Canadians on the waiting list for a transplant, 2,808 were awaiting a kidney transplant. OPINION: If I needed a transplant, I'd want John Candy’s kidney. Autographed.

FACT: Of the 1,069 kidney trans- plants performed in 1999, 65% were cadaveric and 35% were from living donors.

1. Testical

OPINION: I’d hate to have the ghost from one of them cadaveric donors haunting me. There’s nothing scarier than a ghost that can’t pee.

FACT: 35 children received a kidney transplant in 1999.

OPINION: I’m not going to spoil my kids by giving them kidney trans- plants. Feeble little brats.

FACT: Since 1964, The Kidney Foundation has awarded more than $61 million to support kidney-related research.

OPINION: Thanks to this money, incredible advances have been made in kidney-shaped swimming pools.

FACT: In the 2001-2002 competition year, 69 research awards were granted for a total of over $3 million. OPINION: The competition is similar to Trivia Night at Myrons, except with a lot more beer questions.

2. The Ass Kidney

. Renal Pelvis Crazy Straw . The Stem

. Punching Sack

. Booster Cables