What Would Elvis Costello Say? A portion of a short story

was purposely distracting him.

"Oh yeah, he sucks." Said Tyler mockingly as he turned and walked towards the kitchen. Ian seemed too lazy to come up with a response.

_ Truthfully, Tyler was

t lan. He had been

~ "So, I met Elvis Costello today.".

Ian raised his eyes briefly from his book to look at his friend. The action was pretty much the most acknowledge- ment he 16

Way? " he

to raise his head. "Went out.

Was beginning to think Tyler Party at James’ dorm."

"Uh-huh. Then what?"

"You know. Typical after party stuff." Ian answered non- committally.

"Man, what's up with you lately?" Tyler asked his friend, although it was directed more toward the wall separating the kitchen and living room. "You've been doing nothing but slack since the start of the

semester. As Elvis Costello

would say...well, forget that, | have no clue what he says. But my point is, if you get put on academic probation or some- thing don't hold me eiciw we

"I'd probably at least find out her name first. Did you hap- pen to get her name, you stal- lion?"

"Didn't think so. Tell me you at least, um, protected your investment, shall we say?”

. oy

"You jackass. You'll be dead before you're thirty. You don't know where that girl's

been. She could be the sexual

_ partner record holder for all you A oo

“"T'm tired and hung over,"

: la n said in response to his

's barrage, "I'm hitting the ay early tonight." He pulled

himself up and began to saunter

to the hallway leading to the two

1 ty “small, stuffy bedrooms.

She's not a girlfriend,

casual sex partner that

e never even met before?" er interrupted, "Yeah, that's Veneto” “Why are you stressing

about this? You'd do the same

thing."

UPEI Cadre December 2 2003 page 7

Tyler watched him pass

through the kitchen, trying to figure out why his best friend

and he were growing apart so quickly, after so long. He shook his head and looked down at his hands, which were poised over a flattened expanse of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, ready to separate and roll them into individual mini-buns. He realized his hands were shaking and, embarrassed, he set them on the counter. He

knew it wasn't jealousy he was

feeling for Ian and his new wild adventures, it was fear. Fear of

_losing his best friend, not just to

a pack of drunken women, but

emotionally as well.