Marcu 1, 2005

Continued from page 5 February Ist letter, why would they not

investigate those allegations?

1b) Is the Executive aware of the contempt they have shown residence students by making such a decision without investigating the allegations? 2) Is the Executive’s decision a reflection of autocratic governance? 3) Are Student Union Executives out of touch with a large segment of freshman students?

3a) Will the current UPEI Student Union prove to be irrelevant?

As on-campus residents and students of this University, we are asking the Executive for a letter acknowledging that they made a rash, uninformed decision, and in doing so, characterized us in an unacceptable way.

Residents of Marian Hall

Dear Editor,

I am writing in response to your “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” piece in the February 8* edition of The Cadre. Iwas curious as to whether or not you are ripping bad jokes from an outdated MAD magazine, or are claiming these “gems” to be your own.

Sincerely, Scott Flemming Former Contributor

PS - no offense.

Thanks for taking the time to write to us (no offense taken). The

“Snappy Answers to Stupid Question”

jokes were compiled from an online source cited at the bottom of the piece. In the future, we’ll make sure to quote the source more clearly.

Sincerely, The Cadre Production Manager

Ask Mr. Advice

THE CADRE ¢ 6

Dearest Dr. Advice,

Hi. [have been a loyal reader since your article was first published about two weeks ago, and thought that I’d finally seek out some advice for myself. My friends thought it would be funny if they posted my photo on the popular website HOTorNOT.com. Well, unbeknownst to them, I came across it one day when I was browsing through. Dr. Advice, I’m only a 7.1 on the hotness scale, and not one person has rated me a 10! I was shocked beyond my wildest dreams (and let me tell you, I have wild dreams). I was going to confront my so-called friends about the issue, but heck, there’s a bigger problem here... ONLY 7.1!!! I’m pretty much the best looking guy I know, so really, I should be at least a 9.5 or something. My armsare as thick as tree trunks and my hair is better than Bono’s. My father was a semi-professional athlete for goodness sake, and my mom’s a fox (according to my same friends)... it’s in my jeans! What should I do Doctor? Woe is me.

Regards, Captain-so-freaking-ugly-I-only- scored-7.1

Dear Ugly,

I must correct you. My online degree makes me a “Mister,” not a “Doctor.” Thank you for considering me to be like a doctor, however. I feel the same way. In response to your letter, you didn’t really ask me a question. You said “what should I do,” but I don’t really know what you want me to help you with. Maybe you should start by not getting

so worked up by a silly website. Don’t let people judge you on your looks... let them judge you but your dumbass attitude. I don’t care what you hair looks like, you sound like an

idiot to me. And it’s genes, moron. Not “jeans.” G-E-N-E-S. Hope this helps!

Tam, Mr. Advice |

Mr. Advice,

Word up. I’m so glad that the Cadre finally has an advice columnist. I’m sick of trying to find life answer’s in Editor Gallant’s ramble. I happen to love Magic 93 and I am a proud member of the At Work Club. Mr. Cranky... sorry, Mr. Gallant, is just jealous HE can’t be on the radio everyday. Anyway, I’m writing for some advice on my crush. I’ve had feelings for “Cliff” since grade 11. I was always the shy girl in the comer and he was the cool guy playing tuba in the school band. I think we’d be really good together, and we’ve even hung outa few times. The other evening, I was in a tree outside his bedroom window watching him do his homework. It was getting pretty late, and he started to get changed to hit the

sack. This is where my feelings for Cliff - got somewhat altered. He’s in good

physical condition and all (from lugging that tuba around), and normally I think tattoos are pretty swell, but Cliff's jail- house tat made me vomit all over the flower bed below me. He’s got a tattoo of the baby from the 1991 ABC sitcom “Dinosaurs” with the words “Not the Mama!” written over top. Remember that show, Mr. Advice? “Honey, I’m

home!” Those creepy live action dinos walking around in modern day situations? I want to spend eternity with him, but if I have to look at that thing every day, I’ll die. Gimme some advice, Mr. Advice... don’t make me go looking to Editor Gallant.

Signed Not the Mama in Sherwood.

Dear Mama.

How dare you insult that fine example of perfect television? Frankly, YOU make me throw up. You’re pretty lucky you didn’t leave your real name... I’d be driving to your house so fast your head would spin. That show was 10 times more realistic as any of those other “family-centered” comedies. Dinosaurs was the best thing to come out of Jim Henson’s studios since Fraggle Rock. Honestly, any man with a “Not the Mama!” jail-house tat is a good man to me. Stay out of the trees, sicko. Give the Cliff the tubist some privacy. Hope this helps!

Iam, Mr. Advice

Do YOU have a question for Mr. Advice?... Email .. him... at mr_advice_upei@hotmail.com. Your question and his response will be in the next Cadre! foi