News/Onp. Ed. UPEI’s Identity Crisis

Access 2000

The People’s Republic of Cape Breton?

Adeal at UBC

Politics

Student Debt: The Truth

Sports The Reality of Relocation

Hockey finally steps up En Garde! Fencing at UPEI Wrestling in the AUAA

Panther Stats Arts & Entertainment

Dahmnait Doyle

Bonnie and Clyde

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Dear Editer:

I was sitting in Cedars having a lunch time snack and happened to read the Jan,26/00 issue of

The Cadre. I would like to respond to the DLO reply to Mia Wallace who was absolutely appalled by some profanity she read in The Cadre. I too don’t particularly like profanity but wouldn’t write in and tell you my opinion

about your use of it. I do object to you making so little ofa person’s

opinion. You must never ever tell a person what they should or shouldn’t

worry about or what is or isn’t important.

Since I read your reply I will never again be able to worry about what to wear, or if I really like oranges, should I buy a 2 or 4 door, when I grow up will I be a petro- chemical engineer or a chemical engineer? So yes the four letter words that Mia complained about are only “just a construct” but then again you are only just an asshole.

Respectiully, Peter Metaxas

Dear Peter:

I found your letter so funny, so down right laughable that now whenever anyone in the office says something even remotely humorous to me I say, ‘boy you really ‘metaxased” my ass on that one-Ed.

| Dead Letter Office

Dear DLO:

The writer wishes, by means of this letter, to create awareness and concern over the shocking manner in which the lesser known members of the ‘Green Gables’ family have been so long neglected in the eyes of the public. One striking example of this is, of course, Anne’s cousin Stanley. Now, Stanley kept a small restaurant in the Cavendish area which was noted for the spotless, the pristine, condition of the dining- room. Small wonder that he was known as ‘Stan of Clean Tables’! Another almost forgotten member of the family is Anne’s maternal grandmother. This lady kept a riding establishment (not far from Stan’s place) and, unfortunately, was not noted for being over generous with feedstuff for the horses. This aspect of her nature was so obvious that she was known far and wide as ‘Gran of Lean Stables’! There was, of course, another writer in the family. This was Frances, another cousin, who specialised in stories for the young adolescent. It is difficult to comprehend how the publishing industry has so long ignored ‘Fran of Teen Fables’! One could go on but good taste and lack of rhyming material dictate otherwise so we will close with the thought that we have not even considered the foreign relations such as the Italian connection—”

of Serene Naples”! We trust

that this letter may play some small part in correcting

our dreadful neglect of such an overwhelmingly important part of our cultural heritage

Yours sincerely, Traeloch

Dear Traeloch:

How dare you make fun of a cultural icon like Anne. For those of you who don’t know, Anne lives ina smail fishing community and chases down bad guys with Bruno Gerussi, while simultaneously living ina log who has two adopted kids (of a different race) named Arnold and Willis. The smalier one has cute fat cheeks and says “‘Whatcho talkin’ bout” alot. The only problem is that Anne cannot seem to figure out why Tootie keeps stealing her stash. So you know Anne has_ enough problems-Ed.

What sort of a newspaper are you making? Almost every advertisement you put in is shocking and offensive. The one that advertises smut is just

Dead Letter Office

terrible. And then you have joke ads throughout the paper making fun of