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Deep Sea Fishing

Twenty-one people left the University and headed out to the North Shore on Saturday, Sept. 16. Paul McMurdo was a bit be- hind the rest of us. It took him a while to find a coathanger to get into his car!

We were greeted in Rustico by Scott Ferris shouting, ” wel- come aboard ladies and gentle- men”. You will the emergency exits to the left, right, and rear of the boat. ;

It was a beautiful sunny day and the ocean was like glass. At one point, Pam, Diane, and Michelle each thought they had something - what they had was each other!

The quote of the day came from Diane Stewart: ”Michelle, did you put something on your hook (yes)? Oh, I guess I should

.too, then.

Afterwards we all went for some barbecued fish. Fun was had by all. For more information on the techniques of fishing just talk to Brian Campbell.

SEAMAN’S BEVERAGES

Der |. OF

Dear Auntie Pius,

I ama first year business student who is having a 1ard time getting to know my classmates. All my friends are in « ‘her facul- ties. What do recommend ?

name withheld

Dear Withheld,

Why don’t you join the s shat great business school! You get to go to all the functions and meet other freshmen. Just hang tough. It’s only early in the year. Oh, about your friends, drop them! They should be business students anyway.

Auntie P.

Dear Auntie Pius,

I am a woman trapped inside a man’s body. Yesterday I walked into the Kelly women’s bathroom only to be shunned and scoffed at by girls. Honest Auntie Pius, it’s not fair! I feel like I’m one of them. You must help me; my marks are slipping, especially my ac- counting courses. Could there be any connection?

Sick of wearing pants

Dear Sick,

First of all, don’t worry about being scoffed at because you are probably better looking than most who go into that washroom. As for your marks, if you believe that smothered feeling is detrimental to them, let yourself go. What the !*!**. Get an earring. With re- gards to accounting you’ll fit right in because most guys who take

it are pansies anyway. Auntie Pius.

A Dog Named Sex

Everybody who has a dog, calls him Rover, or Boy,.I call mine Sex. Now sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew his li- cense, I told the clerk I would like license for Sex, He said I’d like to have one too. But I said, ”But this is a dog”, he said, he did’nt care what she looked like, then I

said I’ve had Sex since I was nine.

years old, he said you must have been quite a kid.

When I got married, and went on my honeymoon I took the dog with me. I told the Hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and I and a special room for sex. He said that every room in the place was for Sex. I said you don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at night, the clerk said me too. One day I entered Sex in

a Contest, but before the compe- tition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked why I was just standing and looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the Contest, he told me I should have sold my own tickets, but you don’t under- stand, I had hoped to have Sex on T.V., he called me a show-off.

When my wife and I sepa- rated, we went to court to fight

‘for custody of the dog. I said your

Honour, I had Sex before I was married, the judge said, me too. Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me, he said me too. Last night Sex ran off again, I spent hours looking for him. A cop came over to me and asked what are you doing in this alley at four in the morning, I said I was looking for sex.

- My case comes up on Friday

Page 5

Thursday, September 21, 1989

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