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. The Cadre
Member of the Canadian University Press. Founder and charter member of the Cadre Press Syndicate. The opinions expressed in this paper are those of the authors and are the responsibility of the editor. Published by the UPEISU. Phone 4-9585 or 4-4913.
editor-in—cheap: JiMhOrNbY
obsequious Lackey/fawning mendicant: mackay most unworthy: the legendary mcgaughey lord high keeper of the stamps: martin kenny pbrcb: jfk
layout: dave m, auschwitz aardvark
typing: smith—corona, Olivetti
total irrelevance: the bear party
below the age of consent: captain bearheart reporters: anonymous bearcubs
so here we go again with either enough copy or too much, we were never sure, but hassles aplenty with mcgaughey crapping on bearheart (the newspaper’s token pervert), and mackey the lackey down on hornby with coup in mind for sept. and karl down on both of me. pbrcbjfk got to do things up the only way he likes to, after waiting all year, & if it’s going to be done right etc. reporters appeared out of the woodwork (there’s a slight esoteric pun in there somewhere) and we didnt go to the hotel but got laid out instead. oh well, as captain bearheart says, “a drink before and a smoke after are the three best things in life.”
TGCN!
captain bearheart took the two travellers well in hand, show- ing them pei’s many historic sites, such as the place where the little leaguers got their start with teh first free concert and the island rock festival, where walter show once spit tobacco over the railing of the chtown hotel into the flower bed, the office where rjb sees both sides of every question. and last, the upei sub, which wasnt impressive, as it had just been ravaged by a snowball fight and a broom duel, which meant of course that the cadre was being made up. NEXT WEEK: Bearheart plus our two heroes radicalize the masses.
ptain Bearheart’s Little Leaguers rehearsing for their - eat appearance Wednesday night “University Night” gt e Field and Stream with the Flyp Side.
* gCHARLOTTETOWM Rel... EDITORIAL : ‘
MARCH 13, 1970
\
The midsu'mmelr’s knight’s dream.
Once upon a time, not too long ago, not too far away ............ ................................ ..a man developed a new kind of “white paper” and they had to find another man who knew how to use it best. “
From the Imperial Colony. of Columbia an emissary plenopotentiary, a vertible Round of the Knight Table, was commiSsioned to pile post-secondary posts.
Our little Prince, (LP) as he shall hereto- after be known, precursed the princely prov- ince with paradoxical prophesies Hence the futuristic \ foundations Were fornicated through federal funds being forwarded to friendly fabricators of first-rate education. (in true Fred Farkle fashion).
The little prince, a teller of tall tales, tech- nically tailored his tales to traumatize his en— tranced troops. His embellished, elongated etymological eulogy of the present ecumeni- cal erection, electrified and edified the oedi— pal erudities. After proceeding to pulverize the peons into pulp, our little prince deviously deceived with democratic demagoguery — such are the delusions of our demiurge. Me thinks he suffered frOm dementia praecox.
The present mutation required the exor— cism of former heretical high-priests, who
were heard to say upon leaving, “Sanctus — Sunk us !”. The ensuing void was soon filled by the returmng of the Judas-priests from the Lost Tribe of Pedestrian Pedantics, oth- erWIse known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The regime of the Four Horse— men, known fondly as “the days of wine, and brown-noses” endured in the annals but an annum.
The were then succeeded by the little
' “Prince of Peace”.
All who saw the Virtues of the omnipot- ent prince were awarded their feudal fiefs;
all who disagreed suffered nought but pain
and strife: The prince, though well—versed in the graphlc arts, chose to mouth instead ora- torical farts-
The little prince has appointed himself to the King, but his court is ensnarled with clan— destine intrigue, so soon his court will be no more and he will be exiled from shore to shore, and a Royal Crown he will wear no more. ‘ ‘
. ............ .So heed you now our didacticism: “Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive”.
——didaCHE
WW mailstrom %%%§§
MORE COMPLAINTS Sir,
Murray Stevenson should lose his job for: hir- ing a catering service like Beaver Foods. Food man- agement is not like a building contract. If you bid lower, then: consequently the quality is lower. I can’t imagine a large food catering firm losing money, and I certainlycannot imagine food quality lower than it is now.
Wake up you guys. Napoleon said, “An army marches on its belly!” If we are to be institution- alized, then do it correctly. Mr. cross is doing and has done a great job! For three thousand more a year, it is worth having a halfadecent food service.
We’ve heard from sources that the biggest problem with administration this year has been in— ternal organization. It sure does show! no question that fool quality at the Malpeque caf. eteria is desperately low, and‘hence I will not waste my time describing it. In a few words, however, I cannot seriously see Why sanitation cannot be im- proved, why choice cannot be replaced with simple quality, and why the atmosphere «. cannot be more conducive to eating.
There is much more to serving food than just making available a menu. You have to know how to deal with people. You cannot please everyone, and I don’t care if it is a student or a professor, by unwarranted profiting.
If our new students union has any of the attri- butes of its election platform, then it must surely take action. I personally feel that a good cafeteria system on this university is the thing for the next
year or so. Now that residence improvements are
slow in coming, it only seems reasonable that if the administration is to raise tuition, then it should also feed its students food.
It is for these reasons outlined in this letter that I challenge the student union to do about food service on campus. Get the facts, then do something. I am sure, I believe every student is, that this is a worthy cause.
—~A.llan Aankin
THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE TO WORK WITH. . . .
Dearest Edi-tore . As News Editere of this fantastik acxomplish~
ment ei the cadre. I feel that I shuld at leest have ‘
my fantistic editorals spelec correctly and that all
There is .
i nepeet al of my beauitfol prose shuld be inclueed. when you or the [printers leave words and hole sen- tences out it will make peple think that it is won of yrur articles. It is bad enough that peple think 1' caint write, but know they will think i caint spiel.
ryurs treuely denas
(Ed. Oh, sorry, I was under the impression that I was merely the editor of this paper, not a full-time press-room manager. And of course we both know that you cainrt spel.)
LETTER TO THE EDITOR I , or YOU COULDN’T EDIT A ROLL or USED TOILET PAPER PIG: '
Who the hell does this “Captain Barearse” think he is anyway (zounds! sounds like James H himself running around in the nude again!) Ob— viously he is a - tall-y illiterate and uncultured fas- cist, leftist, soc alist, communist swine. No, no, Barearse, the Beatles isn’t something you step on
' and the Stones isn’t something that you throw.
Imagine the nerve of this Barears-e guy trying to shit over the only member of the newspaper staff that makes; your piece of used toilretapaper worth reading. Wh , this McGaugh-ey fella writes worth— while, sane, and learned material in an otherwise
bleak and» uncouth periodical. Each of his columns
is a literary masterpiece to be admired, cherished, and savored by countless generations- of literary connisseurs to come. Each week I await this bright guiding beacon in an otherwise barren and deserted sea of darkness and illiteracy — but enough of this spewing forth of well-deserved laudits — for I could go on forever singing the praises of this writer’s tremendous insight, talent, and utter brillian'cy with which he weilds the powerful sword of the written word and of the great skill with which he mani- pulates» the language ...................... ..
I am the Most High, Exaultedi, etc, etc. ' ‘—Mike McGaJughey
(Editor: That’s what I like about this paperzy we let anyone write —— no matter how Wierd and erratic he may be—aand obviously is). ,