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THE

ENGINEER'S

BI-WEEKLY

Thas page is husour

neccessarily

for the sake of humour.

be opinions at all. Any fools wno tane Chis page seriously

The opinions expressed hece ace not neccessarily the opinions

of The Gem or the Engineering Society and may not

and offend themselves should start trying to develop a sens@® of humour.

“If you are unhappy

Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly. Ina short time. ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed and crapped on the little sparrow. The spar- row thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy. able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and hearing the chirping. investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure. found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.

The story contains three morals:

1) Everyone who-craps on you is not neccessarily your en- emy.

2) Everyone who gets you out of shit is not. neccessarily your friend.

3) And, if yon’re warm and happy in a pile of crap, keep

your mouth shut.

LOOK, THIS GOES HER, You PUT Your HANDS THERE, T PUT MINE HERE

AND Go LiKe THIS AND S£e.., :

“It’s the thought that counts”

A young man wished to buy his girl a pair of gloves for her birthday, so he asked his sister to pick a pair. While in the store she bought a pair of panties and on the way home she got the gloves and panties mixed.

When he got home he didn’t bother to open the par- cel but set it off to his girlfriend with the following letter:

“My Dearest Love:

This gift is to show you that I have not forgotten your birthday. I chose these because I noticed that you were not in the habit of wearing any when you go out with me. Had it not been for my sister I would have chosen long ones with buttons,

but my sister said that short ones were the fashion.

I know that they are a very delicate color but the girl at the shop showed me hers that she had been wearing for a fornight and they were hardly soiled.

Lasked the girl to try them on and she looked very smart in them. How I wished I could have put them on you for the very first time. No doubt many a gentleman’s hand will come in contact with them before I see

you again.

THIS’ wiLL woRK, IT FEELS Too Tigur j ON MY FINGERS!

I was not sure of the size although I should be a good judge by now seeing how many

times I have’caressed what they

cover. When you take them off just blow into them as they will naturally be a bit damp

after wearing. Do not worry

about wetting them as they will not shrink and be sure to wear them on Saturday night.

P.S. Darling, please note the many times I will kiss the back of them during the com- ing year. The shop girls say the latest fashion is to wear them undone and hanging down.”

A Marionette on Friday Night ,

ooh, well if helidoes Freexe over

Et be Un wouch.... bye.

A little dog was running across a freight yard, crossing all the railroad tracks, until a switch engine nipped off the end of his tail.

The. dog yelped, spun around; and when he tried to bite the train, he got his head chopped off.

Moral:

head over a piece of tail. .

Never lose your

“AESOP’S MODERN FABLES”

‘hursday February 4th,

oy Kelly

KXe3

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1988

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