The. ZJPEI LELN, March 25,... 19552?

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'News of the Wbrld (Point LePreau, N.B.) Spokesmen from the nuclear power plant now under construction at Point whamNfiqrmmmm claimed that nuclear power is clean, efficient, and perfectly safe They say that nuclear power' has been a big coverup all staged by the Alberta government. I.M. Stairile, in charge of Pt LePreau energy sales, says "You see, they_(Alberta) don't want nuclear power because it would take away from their oil sales. So they started an inter ~- national plot, bribing everybody from scientists to politicians , to say that radiation is dangerous. Now that's bull crap! Hell, its actually good for you. In fact, I'm so sure of it that I take it three times daily and I couldn't be better."

As Mr. Stairile was saying this, his left leg ,fell Off — severed about' where the shaft of his femur joins the pelvis. When he had regained his composure, he was asked about the event of a nuclear mishap

"Well, if against all probability that a mishap does happen, everybody should just keep going about like nornal.. I mean as yea know, this radiation doesn't hurt you so don't worry about it. However, a few precautiODS; could be made. For instance, the population of New Brunswick should avoid childbirth for the next _

THE

500 years or so. And we've figured that its economically feasible for Atlantic Canada to be missed for the next two million years — think

of the jobs we'd create

in the clean-up!"

we thank Mr. Stairile for the interview, may he rest in peace for he was found Tuesday drowned in a bathtub full of crude oil. In custody are a group of left-handed normon speakers presently being interrogated.

You Think It's Love

Pam: Oh! Cone on.

Stan: Let He alone. Pam: It won't take long. Stan: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.

Pam: I can't sleep now. Stan: Why do you think of it in the middle of the night?

Pam: Because I'm hot. Stan: You get hot at the danmdest times.

Pamz. If you were my lover I wouldn't have to beg.

Stan: If you were my lover you would be a little more considerate! Pam: You.don't love me anynore.

Stan: All right, I'll do it. y. ‘

,Panu What's the matter, need a flashlight?

Stan: I can't find it. Pam: Feel aound.

Stan: There, satisfied? Pam:' Yes, dear!

Stan: Is it up far enough? '

Pam: No, a little further. Stan: Now go to sleep and

next time you want the

winacmvopen do it yourself.

Senior Class

Wed. March 31,. Library Lecture

Theatre.

BE THERE!

Meeting

12:45

ENGINEERS '

(local) The group of confectionary store owners were brought to trial today for the, selling of alleged porno- graphic magazines. However, when the evidence was to be displayed, it was no where to be found.

Horace Kbch; who now walks with a limp, was in charge of the magazines and claims he

Bl-WEEth "

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doesn't know where they went. He won‘t be able to wait till the evidence is found either for he's going in Saturday to the hospital for the treatment of a severe twitch in his left hand. Horace, just before he went in, said "Even if the twitch isn't cured, it's still good for pounding dough.\ and neat."

View FROM THE TOPS

’GEEK ,of’thevxlegn

Andy Dean

:3, ~\

\fo it comes to this... g

Come for this: N FREE COFFEE at McDonald’s (no purchase necessary)

Bottomless cups'to keep you

of helping you through these testing

charged up through exam week. No times. And of saying, “Thank you

purchase netessary. April 1420 5 p.m.—closing. McDonald’s ®way

425 University Avenue

Charlottetown L “w

for your patronage all year.”

Just present your UPEI Student card to

receive your free coffee!